Tag: selfhelp

FINDING CREATIVITY

FINDING CREATIVITY

Having everything done on my to-do list and my feet resting flat on the floor is becoming the trick to ushering in the expansion of my creativity. I’m whittling stuff off my to-do list. I’m simultaneously realizing I don’t need to keep taking expensive college courses that interfere with my life. I’m focusing more on my children and anything that truly piques my interest.

Nursing school was fine. I did it! I got my RN. Truthfully, nursing isn’t something I think I can be good at as a profession. There’s just too many demands at the same time. You’re never done. People fall and you have to catch their bodies. I’ve worked with nurses who are still undergoing physical therapy themselves due to catching falling patients. Working in a nursing home taught me that. I only did it because my Grandmother chided me for pursuing an Esthetician license saying “Do something real! Do something that’s actually useful!” So, I took on nursing. Now, I have both a nursing (RN) degree and an Esthetician license. Since graduating in December of 2014, I’ve only had a couple nursing jobs and a few volunteering positions.

I’ve SLOWLY and recently released the grips my ego has over me. My ego seems to want more college education–to go further! My EGO wants me to forge a path ahead and grab ambition and accomplishment and knowledge and squeeze their products into a pitcher as one squeezes lemons for the delicious result of lemonade. Like everyone else, I seek the same applause from effortful pursuits. There is another desire I’m finding… to see creativity unfold.

But…I’m realizing if it’s not for the sake of creativity itself, it is just a vain attempt to build a greater self-empire. The ego wants to behold itself and showcase all of what it’s done.

No longer. I want to exemplify creativity and seek creative pursuits in all their forms for the sake of creativity itself. Not for money, or recognition or fleeting applause and approval but simply for learning and recreation. Creativity is fun. It satisfies itself. It needs nothing more.

Creativity is about finding the interconnectedness between two things. It asks, how can we look at something from a BIG picture or a SMALL picture? Creativity is a curious endeavor and requires that we look at things through various angles. FOR INSTANCE, LAST NIGHT I HAD A SUDDEN EUREKA MOMENT. A volcano is like an acne pimple or lesion. There is swelling, inflammation and heat that starts to roil beneath the surface. The volcano lifts the surrounding terrain in a cone shaped form as does the acne pimple on the skin. Both the pimple and volcano explode out onto surfaces. For the pimple it is the skin and for the volcano it is the surrounding terrain. The damage done below the surface of the skin can cause an acne scar in the formation of a crater as the skin starts to settle. In the same way, as the volcano settles, the terrain can form a caldera or crater.

This is how creativity can start emerging. In the example above I started to look at two things as though they may be connected. When you do this you start to recognize intriguing relationships between disparate phenomena! And it just keeps going from here. It can get very exciting and addicting and you’ll start pursuing creativity for its own sake.

How can you find creativity in your life? What I’m realizing is that YOU NEED BLOCKS OF UNINTERRUPTED TIME. No tuned-out periods of phone scrolling, no children screaming in the distance and no interruptions from surrounding clutter. Clutter can be a huge distraction because it signals to the brain that you HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Even if you try, it’s still there, it’s visual phenomena. It’s saying, “shuffle your attention over here from time to time”. Getting rid of stuff and cleaning your workspace will have a dramatic effect on your ability to engage in deeper creativity and approach the psychological experience called “Flow”. I’ve had flow several times and it’s one of the better gifts of human experience.

Thus, you need time plus an environment to start making creativity happen. It’s hard to get started but once you start rolling you start going. It’s really just an openness to possibility. It’s seeing every moment in a novel way. It’s asking, can I reframe this moment to make it better? You can adjust a tilted picture frame by moving it ever so slightly. In the same way, you can adjust your current reality by tilting it a bit and making it appear more novel. Take a moment to realize you can notice different things and then you take a different approach. Try zooming out with your focus and then zooming way back in. It’s all this adjustment and provides new insight and perspectives.

Also, don’t forget the power of sleep! I’m always way more likely to both think creativity and have more motivation to be creative when I get adequate sleep. When I’m well-rested, I have better resilience for my own failures or when people reject me or give me the cold shoulder. I have higher tolerance for so much more! When pursuing creative ambitions, you really need lots of tolerance because it’s a struggle to get going with creative pursuits and a struggle to KEEP GOING. You can have all the ideas in the world but its easy to flounder and stop.

Sometimes you do need moments of blandness and boredom to eventually get to more profound levels of creativity. It’s like your brain needs the contrast. I find that the most scintillating insights arrive when I’m doing very mundane tasks like moving about putting things away. My brain is slightly disengaged but yet there must be subconscious processes that are still occurring. I’ve discovered that very intense bursts of cardiovascular exercise seem to prepare me both mentally and physically for that calm that comes before the creative storm. I also feel good for exercising and exerting a form of self-discipline.

I’m eager to discover more synchronicities and possibilities with anything that I interact with. When you discover more and learn more you can see more connections that can lead to novel inventions, ideas or ways of doing things. I don’t have a formalized, set structure for discovering creativity but I’m deeply curious if perhaps there is a method that I will soon discover! I’m working on this!

WRITING TO DO LISTS IS MAGIC

WRITING TO DO LISTS IS MAGIC

What I have learned is that writing a to-do list WORKS! This has become my secret way of translating things…projects, ideas, etc. into forward action.

When I WAKE UP EARLY and write my to-do list on a sheet of paper and then place it right on the top of my counter, I am face to face with it. I am far more likely to attempt any one of these to-to tasks than if I didn’t write the to-do-list.

The psychological sciences have discovered why writing a to-do list is so helpful. One of the reasons is that writing is the act of GETTING THE MIND ON BOARD. That is, when you write something, your brain is inevitably reflecting on that piece of data. Your inner thoughts are transcribed into material reality. Thinking is the first step. When you write you’re thinking about what you write. When a thought is written down, it is directing the brain towards that thing. It’s the beginning of motivation and motivation creates action.

With a to-do-list, there is great reward in crossing off the completed tasks with a BIG BLACK MARKER. I can hear the squeaky sound of the black marker. I notice the thick, inky feeling as it glides over a task on my to-do list and BLOTS it out in full and final punishment.

The reward is also the knowledge that I’m making progress; that I’m being productive.

The number of list items that I’ve attempted (and completed) from simply writing them down is ASTOUNDING. It’s as if the brain realizes, “Hey if I write this stuff down, I better at least do some of it.“

Now that I know this method of WRITING A NEW LIST DOWN EVERY SINGLE MORNING on a sheet of paper and placing that paper right on the top of the counter so that I can read it, I’m wondering if I could make other thoughts happen. You know, manifest into reality? I believe that this and more is possible. What you think is power. Continually engaging your mind in your daily activities by thinking about those activities and writing them down will push you toward them. Think about it, it certainly won’t push you away from them.

Often, I refrain from writing challenging (to me at least) things on my to-do list because I’m afraid to try them or they seem to take TOO MANY STEPS TO COMPLETE. Sometimes the steps involve personal embarrassment or being uncomfortable or even an ego bruising! I tell myself “I won’t write this down because I won’t try it anyway.” Well lately I’ve come to realize that writing the difficult things down DOES INDEED spur me to take a few steps towards the goal or item on my list. Even just a couple steps is better than no steps.

So yes, writing ANYTHING DOWN is MAGIC to your goals. It’s really the first step because you have decided to actively reflect and think about it and turn it from inside your mind onto a piece of paper. That’s it!

I want to go even further here in my goals and pursuits. I want to do actions that spur the creation of new ideas and inventions. Not for the sake of ego and selfish goals but for the sake of learning and finding ways to help humanity. Will I start with writing? Yes, that’s where I will start. Taking the time to write about anything and everything related to my goals, wishes or ideas will be the first step.

JUST START TAKING ACTION!

Lately, I’ve been learning about taking action. The best time to take action is always as soon as you can!

The recently rising entrepreneurial star on YouTube, Alex Hormozi who started from scratch and has made HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS by his early 30’s, is famous for saying, “The key to success is to reduce the time between when you have a thought and when you take action.”

Taking action and running from procrastination is the FIRST KEY TO SUCCESS. Do something and DO ANYTHING. If you just start, you’ll find a way. You’ll receive some feedback, and you’ll discover a different twist along your path. This is much better than “waiting for the right moment to take action.”. Remember you ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME. And then, it’s over. It’s better to start making the mistakes and failures now than waiting to make mistakes later.

While ice skating with my 6-year-old son yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice two distinct groups on the rink: cautious beginners sticking to basic forward skating and daring experts executing impressive leaps and spins. It’s as if everyone’s avoiding the middle ground between playing it safe and risking a face-plant!

It made me realize that sometimes we refuse to act because we don’t want to go through the embarrassment of the next risky step. We would rather “show off once we get there” but we hesitate to approach that middle ground of floundering—that middle ground of hard work and trial and error that exists between novice and Pro.

Taking action is easier for some things. Ever notice how easy it is to click on an Instagram, Facebook or other social media Icon on your phone and just start scrolling? It’s extremely easy and mindless to do this task. And if the statistics are valid, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH ARE ENGAGING IN THIS PASSIVE BEHAVIOR EACH DAY—throughout the day!

What if we started to think of other endeavors or tasks as just as easy and mindless?

 What if we just opened a Word document on our computers and just started writing? What if we  started brainstorming possible things that we wanted to learn?

What if we jumped on our exercise machines without “getting our workout gear on”? Even for just 5 minutes!

It’s intriguing to consider how effortlessly we engage in passive behaviors like scrolling through social media, yet we hesitate to apply the same level of ease and mindlessness to other endeavors. What if we approached writing, learning, or exercising with the same nonchalant attitude? By reframing our mindset and acknowledging that starting is often the hardest part, we can overcome the inertia of procrastination and propel ourselves towards our goals.

Let’s challenge ourselves to adopt the mentality of “just start.” Whether it’s opening a blank document, brainstorming ideas, or hopping on the exercise machine without overthinking it, taking that initial step is the catalyst for progress. Remember, time is finite, and it’s better to embrace mistakes and failures along the way than to wait for the elusive “perfect moment” that may never come. In the end, the journey of taking action is where growth and success truly unfold!

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ANXIETY STACKING/ HOW TO USE IT!!!!

In the world of self-help, self-improvement and motivation we’re all familiar with the phrase “Habit Stacking” or “skill stacking’. “A recent idea that I thought of is “Anxiety Stacking”. This concept came to me the other day when I woke up feeling anxious again, for seemingly no reason. Why do I feel so anxious?

Anxiety always seems to be connected to other people. ALMOST ALWAYS. It’s someone who has unfollowed me or unfriended me on Facebook or Instagram. I feel the anxiety flood in. Maybe it’s a suggestion to “patch a hole in my coat” (as if I didn’t notice that!). It’s someone’s hesitation to be warm or friendly after I have been exuberant and kind with them. It’s someone’s dismissive or “calm down” response to me about an expressive thought that I’ve vocalized–especially when I made an intentional effort to not be dismissive to their thoughts. It’s a job or opportunity rejection. Or maybe it’s the feeling conjured up when someone else in my current niche of interest is producing incredible products. There’s the unmistakable twinge of envy that creeps in when a peer in my field is churning out remarkable work, leaving me feeling like the underdog.

I’m in a quest to tame my anxiety. Anxiety is a very uncomfortable state of being. I’ve realized that I’m often at war with it. Once my psyche is plunged into this state, it tries with might to get out! Sometimes I sit in this state for half a day. I fantasize about the moment that I “will no longer feel anxious”.

I’ve decided to turn this upside down! Instead of dream of the moment where I’m “no longer feeling anxious” I’m going to use my anxiety as a catalyst. I’m going to use these moments of angst to run towards EVEN MORE SITUATIONS and EVEN MORE PEOPLE who AROUSE MY ANXIETY.

But why? The reason is because this is the PERFECT TIME. I’m already in the throes of anxiety. This is the time to allow more of it…because, wait, can anxiety get worse than it already is? Not really. It’s going to feel just as painful and anxiety-riddling with one or two rejections as it is with about 10 or 20 rejections. Sure, lots of rejections slammed on you at once may take a toll on your overall self-esteem (in the moment) but more on that later…

When you feel anxious it’s better to do a bunch of different things that may stir your anxiety. These are things like: apply for a job (that you think you’ll get rejected from), apply for a volunteer position (that you don’t think you have a chance at), ask someone out who’s likely to reject you. Compose an email to that estranged long-lost Uncle of yours! Has a neighbor recently rebuffed you? Bravely approach them and start talking in a bright, cheerful, annoying voice as if you don’t notice their disdain for you. Remember! They’re going to die too. You have one life and now is the perfect time to take risks with your ego because, again, YOU’RE ALREADY FEELING ANXIOUS.

I’ve noticed that when I do this, when I zoom into uncomfortable situations, I end up forgetting (for at least part of the day) some of the other uncomfortable situations that I’ve just encountered. It’s like I’m stacking more anxiety-pervading moments onto the heap. My memory (and anxiety) can only handle and FOCUS on a couple of these at a time.

Now, why do this? Because when you place your eggs in many baskets, when you apply for that job, inquire about a volunteer position in your field of intrigue, ask out a potential date, or speak to someone who you think “doesn’t like you” you actually increase the likelihood that ONE OF THESE ACTIONS works out in the end.

Let’s reiterate! When you diversify your efforts—whether it’s applying for a job, seeking a volunteer opportunity in your field of interest, mustering the courage to ask someone out, or engaging with someone you perceive as indifferent to you—you significantly boost the chances that at least one of these endeavors will yield positive results. Success tends to favor those who cast a wide net.

By taking action and doing a bunch of uncomfortable things in your current “Already-Anxiety” state, you’re learning a trick and modify your behavior and use it for your own self-improvement.

Now you can see the positive angle on anxiety. Use this state to your advantage!

When you FEEL better you DO better!

When you “FEEL BETTER” you DO better and you ACT better. By selectively paying attention to the positives and your strengths, you create a reinforcing loop of positivity that can help you get through the moment.

One of the things I’ve noticed in life is that the people I encounter who are in the best shape of their lives and who look GREAT are uncannily happy too. These are the people who are full of exuberance and energy for life. So whatever there doing, they’re setting themselves up to FEEL better. It would be very hard to feel awful if you’re Sofia Vergara.

Let’s reiterate: it starts be selectively paying attention to what makes you feel both happy and in control of your life. Emotions matter. The negative thought cycle starts like this: someone else acts in some way/says something that makes you feel bad or triggers your ego in some way. Whatever is said starts to make you doubt yourself more. You don’t doubt yourself, what THEY SAID ABOUT YOU makes you doubt yourself. Before you know it, you’re in a vortex of hopelessness and self doubt that seems to penetrate your entire being. You don’t quite know how to get out. Now, if someone insults Sofia Vergara, she can easily brush it off. She can just remind herself of her physique (which I’m sure she’s worked hard for) or she could remind herself of some of her accomplishments. She won’t stay in depression for that long. I’ve discovered that the best way to get out of this kind of depressive funk that gets most of us down is to start actively getting in shape. Next, start thinking about a couple ideas or things that interest you and motivate you. You don’t necessarily have to reflect upon “what you’re good at”–because so many of us feel that we’re not terribly successful at anything. Rather, think about some things you can try (or try again) that excite you. You are momentarily distracting yourself from the present state of negative feeling. You can choose to think of anything you want, so why not expand your thinking to POSSIBILITY? Sometimes it takes a day or two to jettison oneself out of a bad mood or a negative feeling, but it’s good to know that these are fleeting emotions. We can get back into positive emotions by building up a muscle of “seeing the positive” of “thinking about positives” and selectively paying attention to positive things over negative things/incidents. We can selectively decide to forgive ourselves and MOVE ON. Getting your physical body in shape takes considerable time and daily application. In the same way, getting your emotions and mind strong and resilient take daily practice.