When you “FEEL BETTER” you DO better and you ACT better. By selectively paying attention to the positives and your strengths, you create a reinforcing loop of positivity that can help you get through the moment.

One of the things I’ve noticed in life is that the people I encounter who are in the best shape of their lives and who look GREAT are uncannily happy too. These are the people who are full of exuberance and energy for life. So whatever there doing, they’re setting themselves up to FEEL better. It would be very hard to feel awful if you’re Sofia Vergara.

Let’s reiterate: it starts be selectively paying attention to what makes you feel both happy and in control of your life. Emotions matter. The negative thought cycle starts like this: someone else acts in some way/says something that makes you feel bad or triggers your ego in some way. Whatever is said starts to make you doubt yourself more. You don’t doubt yourself, what THEY SAID ABOUT YOU makes you doubt yourself. Before you know it, you’re in a vortex of hopelessness and self doubt that seems to penetrate your entire being. You don’t quite know how to get out. Now, if someone insults Sofia Vergara, she can easily brush it off. She can just remind herself of her physique (which I’m sure she’s worked hard for) or she could remind herself of some of her accomplishments. She won’t stay in depression for that long. I’ve discovered that the best way to get out of this kind of depressive funk that gets most of us down is to start actively getting in shape. Next, start thinking about a couple ideas or things that interest you and motivate you. You don’t necessarily have to reflect upon “what you’re good at”–because so many of us feel that we’re not terribly successful at anything. Rather, think about some things you can try (or try again) that excite you. You are momentarily distracting yourself from the present state of negative feeling. You can choose to think of anything you want, so why not expand your thinking to POSSIBILITY? Sometimes it takes a day or two to jettison oneself out of a bad mood or a negative feeling, but it’s good to know that these are fleeting emotions. We can get back into positive emotions by building up a muscle of “seeing the positive” of “thinking about positives” and selectively paying attention to positive things over negative things/incidents. We can selectively decide to forgive ourselves and MOVE ON. Getting your physical body in shape takes considerable time and daily application. In the same way, getting your emotions and mind strong and resilient take daily practice.