In the world of self-help, self-improvement and motivation we’re all familiar with the phrase “Habit Stacking” or “skill stacking’. “A recent idea that I thought of is “Anxiety Stacking”. This concept came to me the other day when I woke up feeling anxious again, for seemingly no reason. Why do I feel so anxious?

Anxiety always seems to be connected to other people. ALMOST ALWAYS. It’s someone who has unfollowed me or unfriended me on Facebook or Instagram. I feel the anxiety flood in. Maybe it’s a suggestion to “patch a hole in my coat” (as if I didn’t notice that!). It’s someone’s hesitation to be warm or friendly after I have been exuberant and kind with them. It’s someone’s dismissive or “calm down” response to me about an expressive thought that I’ve vocalized–especially when I made an intentional effort to not be dismissive to their thoughts. It’s a job or opportunity rejection. Or maybe it’s the feeling conjured up when someone else in my current niche of interest is producing incredible products. There’s the unmistakable twinge of envy that creeps in when a peer in my field is churning out remarkable work, leaving me feeling like the underdog.

I’m in a quest to tame my anxiety. Anxiety is a very uncomfortable state of being. I’ve realized that I’m often at war with it. Once my psyche is plunged into this state, it tries with might to get out! Sometimes I sit in this state for half a day. I fantasize about the moment that I “will no longer feel anxious”.

I’ve decided to turn this upside down! Instead of dream of the moment where I’m “no longer feeling anxious” I’m going to use my anxiety as a catalyst. I’m going to use these moments of angst to run towards EVEN MORE SITUATIONS and EVEN MORE PEOPLE who AROUSE MY ANXIETY.

But why? The reason is because this is the PERFECT TIME. I’m already in the throes of anxiety. This is the time to allow more of it…because, wait, can anxiety get worse than it already is? Not really. It’s going to feel just as painful and anxiety-riddling with one or two rejections as it is with about 10 or 20 rejections. Sure, lots of rejections slammed on you at once may take a toll on your overall self-esteem (in the moment) but more on that later…

When you feel anxious it’s better to do a bunch of different things that may stir your anxiety. These are things like: apply for a job (that you think you’ll get rejected from), apply for a volunteer position (that you don’t think you have a chance at), ask someone out who’s likely to reject you. Compose an email to that estranged long-lost Uncle of yours! Has a neighbor recently rebuffed you? Bravely approach them and start talking in a bright, cheerful, annoying voice as if you don’t notice their disdain for you. Remember! They’re going to die too. You have one life and now is the perfect time to take risks with your ego because, again, YOU’RE ALREADY FEELING ANXIOUS.

I’ve noticed that when I do this, when I zoom into uncomfortable situations, I end up forgetting (for at least part of the day) some of the other uncomfortable situations that I’ve just encountered. It’s like I’m stacking more anxiety-pervading moments onto the heap. My memory (and anxiety) can only handle and FOCUS on a couple of these at a time.

Now, why do this? Because when you place your eggs in many baskets, when you apply for that job, inquire about a volunteer position in your field of intrigue, ask out a potential date, or speak to someone who you think “doesn’t like you” you actually increase the likelihood that ONE OF THESE ACTIONS works out in the end.

Let’s reiterate! When you diversify your efforts—whether it’s applying for a job, seeking a volunteer opportunity in your field of interest, mustering the courage to ask someone out, or engaging with someone you perceive as indifferent to you—you significantly boost the chances that at least one of these endeavors will yield positive results. Success tends to favor those who cast a wide net.

By taking action and doing a bunch of uncomfortable things in your current “Already-Anxiety” state, you’re learning a trick and modify your behavior and use it for your own self-improvement.

Now you can see the positive angle on anxiety. Use this state to your advantage!