Month: July 2026

STOP SAYING THIS PHRASE IF YOU WANT RELATIONSHIPS

The ART OF HUMAN CONNECTION AND MAKING FRIENDS STARTS BY NOT SAYING

“I’m loving this person where they’re at.”—BAD PHRASE

Here’s why:

There is a specific type of relationship dynamic that looks like empathy on the surface, but functions entirely differently. It is often summarized by the phrase, “I’m just trying to meet this person where they’re at.”

While this sounds intentionally altruistic and patient, it often masks a hidden hierarchy. It operates on a model of Positional Empathy.

In this framework, the person offering empathy views themselves as having “arrived” at the correct mindset, lifestyle, or truth. The person receiving the empathy is viewed as being “in transit” or stuck at an inferior starting point. The relationship isn’t a bridge between equals; it is a staircase.

The reason this behavior is so common—and so hard to self-diagnose—is that it allows people to have their cake and eat it too. It provides the emotional reward of acting humble and kind, while quietly maintaining the upper hand.

Treating another person’s experience as a “starting point” that requires your patience is a form of CHARITABLE SUPERIORITY. It frames the other person as a project. Kindness is real, but it is conditional. It is a waiting game, predicated on the quiet expectation that the other person will eventually realize you were right all along.

Do you care about human connection and making deep and lasting friendships and relationships or is your goal to get people to “Think *almost* exactly as you do”?

If the ultimate goal is genuine human connection, this approach is fundamentally incompatible.

When you enter a relationship with an invisible agenda—even an agenda you believe is for their own good—the other person can feel it. They don’t feel seen; they feel managed. They feel patronized. They feel like you are condescending and toxic.

True RELATIONSHIP requires abandoning the role of the “patient guide.” It requires sitting with someone as who THEY ARE without secretly clocking their progress toward your preferred destination.

So next time you want a relationship with someone remember to always say “I like them for WHO THEY ARE and I want to have this connection/relationship.” Don’t say “I want to meet them where they’re at”.

Unless the person has a profound mental illness, a history as a prison inmate or an addiction that causes OBJECTIVE AND MEASUREABLE harm to themselves or others (and you wouldn’t want to be a friend with that person anyways) STOP SAYING “I want to meet this person where they’re at.”

My KETO DIET–Biggest Change–Quick Thoughts!

The biggest change that I noticed starting a strict Keto diet 7 weeks ago is the abeyance of anxiety. I staunchly avoided desserts, all sugars and carbs from even vegetables with the exception of kale, onions, bell peppers, Swiss Chard and avocados. I will blog more about my Keto diet in the future but for now, I want to discuss my mental state.

The superpower that I’ve noticed is the equanimity of mind. I have more stability in my emotional state. I have much less worry about how people perceive me or how they may dislike me. I have this overriding sense of balance for myself and when my ego sees me fail, it does not allow for excessive rumination or time spent on worry. I worry a bit but then I can quickly move on.

Even being just slightly less concerned about how other people are perceiving me has been a golden opportunity. I can risk trying new things.

We are warned so much throughout our lives about “Taking risks” and “being careful”. But what about the risk of not taking risks?

The old bumper sticker “But did you die?” comes to mind. We forget how short our lives are so we spend less time self actualizing and more time self manicuring--more time framing ourselves as “cool”, “low key” and “let me keep myself quiet behind the scenes so as not to bother or annoy anyone.”. Instead of make a text post with our original take on a situation, we reshare someone else’s funny meme.

We ultimately try to make it so our ego doesn’t have to face the perils of other people and their judgment and critiques of us. Because…if we begin to come out and be original and just be our full selves, we know they could disapprove of our inner core, our true unvarnished identity–if that is such a thing.

Now, if being on a ketogenic diet helps my mind and wellbeing to such an extent that I will have tried and completed more things over the course of a year, then I can honestly say it’s a huge benefit. All of these incremental steps and pursuits add up.

With a better mental framework–thanks to Keto–I am gaining more “tries” in the game of life and with each move comes more opportunity for how the system of life works and how success is achieved.