Tag: selfimprovement

WHIPPING UP DESIRE FOR PURSUING GOALS

WHIPPING UP DESIRE FOR PURSUING GOALS

I’m not at the end of my rope. I can do more than I realize. The market is saturated with influencers, attention grabbing headlines. It’s coated thickly with social media content and ideas. But this speaks more of this moment and moments change. Everything is in a state of flux and there are times for luck, for chance to find its way. You’ve got to find something, figure something out…make a way. You’ve got to keep up the momentum.

The realization that I’m coming to this week is that SO MUCH can be credited to simple desire. If you don’t have the desire or interest, nothing happens. DESIRE IS WHERE IT’S AT. No desire, no initial thrust towards something. No interest, no energy flow to the next possible thing.

Desire is the first (and usually easiest) thing that seems to pull us in a direction. Then we need the energy and motivation to sustain. But first, it’s desire. To gain desire you need to play around with something. Sometimes it’s a concept, or maybe it’s playing with paint, photography, wood, fabric or cardboard. Perhaps you need to spend a little time writing some words down or listening to a music piece. Maybe you just need to take that device or appliance apart.

So, if you ever notice you have a particular interest for something or maybe an idea appears and pulls at your attention, the next step is to give in to it. Try to see this beckoning as a natural push to get you out of homeostasis and maybe into a temporary flow state. This can yield dramatic returns on your life and wellbeing.

It takes effort and sometimes resources to pursue even the smallest desire. But this is worth the investment. You can use this opportunity of desire to turn a new leaf. At the very least you can get out of an anhedonic state.

And this is the crux of what I’m getting at. So many of us are in a mental state where we don’t have tremendous desire or interest for ANYTHING. Even just the act of stirring up intrigue seems exhausting. Yet, nature does present you with the occasional desire. Think of desire as a gift. Not everyone has desire. Not everyone has enough desire to make it happen or to finish even a basic small creation. We can’t even finish a longer video; much more initiate our own project. Most of us are living our days taming our boredom. Usually, we’re just scrolling along and being as stationary as possible.

This kind of static behavior on a daily basis induces a state of apathy for many things. Even more, it trains the mind for auto pilot mode.

Do you know what I’m getting at? You start to think only through the lens that is shaped by various content creators. You’re not allowing your mind to sublimate on its’ own stew of subconscious content.

Great things arise out of your subconscious mind when you let it happen–when you give your mind time to let it happen. When you give your mind time away from attention grabbing headlines, media, social media, or other online or in-person sources. Giving your mind a pause or fast away from online content (typically the ones that you find yourself compulsively checking–those are the worst!) will start to allow you to bring novel ideas and inventions to the forefront of your brain. I’ve seen this happen myself. It surprisingly works but you must take a refrain from the auto-pilot state.

Here’s another thought. The next time you have the impulse to criticize someone else for “wasting their time”–SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY EMBARKING ON SOMETHING OR MAKING SOMETHING–maybe even some dumb creation–a cardboard sculpture, a blah blog post, or something that looks almost “useless” remember, somebody whipped up the DESIRE to DO THAT THING and even FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. They first had to have that initial uncanny desire to even approach the creation that they did. Then, they had to see it to the end. And many of these people are consistent and CREATE WEEKLY. Now that’s hard. It’s one thing to create something. It’s an entirely different thing to create monthly or weekly.

You may not appreciate someone’s final product. But you should have some sort of inspiration or admiration for the value of human desire. Some humans have discovered this desire and furthermore have the deliberation to untangle some aspect of physical reality and then to recreate, re-think, re-imagine, repurpose it. Desire is a gift. You, too, can take notice of it when it arises. We all get the desire feeling at some point or another. Next, take advantage of it. Don’t take the feeling of desire for granted because that feeling WILL PASS and you will be back to mental homeostasis.

LISTEN TO (THESE PODCASTS) BOOST YOUR OUTPUT!

LISTEN TO (THESE PODCASTS) BOOST YOUR OUTPUT!

You always have to ask yourself how much is this helping? How much of what I’m doing is working out in my moment-to-moment experience of consciousness? Constantly taking inventory of the things that CHANGE YOUR STATE and thus, YOUR MIND is going to be the driver of the good life.

It recently dawned on me that there are certain things that SIGNIFICANTLY and POSITIVELY impact my progress. I have also noticed that some of my activities have less of an effect or have slightly negative effects.

One of the activities that I have found to push me to mountain-top levels and take on new goals is listening to LONG podcasts from self-help, health and motivational speakers. These individuals continually interview doctors, body/fitness experts, successful entrepreneurs, writers–the entire gamut of professionals who exist today and are making both MONEY and having INFLUENCE. You can’t NOT trust them. They’ve figured something out. Even if they’ve had untold levels of assistance or won the IQ lottery, they can still offer guidance.

Just hearing these people speak will help me for an entire day. As I’m listening to the interviews I’m changing my physiology. What I place in my mouth and how much movement I attempt is dramatically altered for the next 24 hours.

And yes, 24 hours does make a dent. One week of eating and sleeping poorly can benefit from just 24 hours of changing my physiology. And, if listening to one or two podcasts from, say, Chris Williamson or Diary of a CEO does it, why would I not keep doing it? Tom Bilyeu, The Daily Stoic or Rich Roll have so much tantalizing and even controversial guests to volley back and forth with. Hard ball questions are frequently posed. Alex Hormozi has incredible videos where he’s just teaching and talking. Dan Koe as well. There’s Ed Mylett, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, Lewis Howes, Lex Fridman and of course, Sam Harris and Andrew Huberman.

The above are just a few of my favorites. They all have different perspectives and interview fascinating people. Obviously, there are dozens more I could name. I’ve blogged about this before, but I find the impact so startling on my life I can’t help but keep advocating for a podcast listening ritual. Listening to podcasts will truly enhance your life and your weekly output. You’ll probably try something different this week if you listen to a podcast.

When I go for a week or two without listening to a podcast, I notice that I’m just not as motivated. I’m not hearing the words. I’m not hearing the conversations. For me, auditory processing must hijack my brain and send me into response and “try it” mode. Everyone is different but I firmly believe that for a large number of people, listening–HEARING with your ears can be extremely life-changing. And no, you don’t need to do it a couple times. This habit has to be part of your weekly life. I try to listen several times a week.

The things that I’ve noticed DO NOT HELP ME or, they actually make me feel bad or maybe even wasteful (which isn’t a good feeling and does have a consequence on future behavior) are any form of scrolling over short-form content. Watching or clicking on short-form content. Very, very, VERY RARELY do short-form videos, reels or memes have any kind of a positive effect on my life.

I’m never helped financially, physically or mentally from watching short-form videos. I’m just thinking why did I waste my time? Or, I could have thought of the same thing or done the same thing but instead gave up my time to someone else’s sub-par creation. I’m sure you’ve had similar thoughts. You want to be DOING and CREATING. You don’t want to simply be the spectator and then feel bad about it later. You should be on your feet moving or in your mind thinking original thoughts.

So, take the time for podcasts. You can absolutely listen while multitasking (as everyone seems to do) and they’ll arouse that soft inner voice, that subconscious part of you that pushes you to do something slightly different. You’ll end up with a better week. Bonus! You won’t feel guilty about listening to them because you’re probably accomplishing something else on the side.

NEGATIVE GROCERY STORE ENCOUNTERS: POWER IN THE EMOTIONAL MOMENT

NEGATIVE GROCERY STORE ENCOUNTERS: POWER IN THE EMOTIONAL MOMENT

A very quick yet (hopefully) pithy blog post today. I don’t expect anyone to read it. I do like to purge here on my blog and scribble out my thoughts to various interactions. In life, people will cause you the most pain. Hands down. There is nothing that will instigate more problems or conjure more negative self-talk than other people. Rarely do you wake up and simply decide to think negatively about yourself. Usually, it’s a frustrating encounter with another human being that sets off a cascade of negative self-talk and rumination.

It’s other people’s expressions, reactions and mannerisms that bring you to this psychological state. You may be minding your own business or thinking your own thoughts, yet someone acts a certain way and throws you off. Maybe they exhibit an attitude that you feel is unfair to your current situation. I know, I know, we hear it all the time “you are responsible for your own feelings”. This said, it’s almost always another person who has done the initiating or acted unreasonably considering the circumstances.

I had the experience of someone’s irritation, contempt and derision in Target yesterday. Perhaps it was because I was in Target and not in Walmart (where all the humble people abide). I can’t put my finger on it but these kinds of encounters never arrive when we’re at Walmart.

My children were blocking an aisle, as usual. My back was turned away from the approaching customer, her husband and (one) child. Once I realized the obstacle we had created for her, I immediately said “I’m so sorry!” and we speedily moved out of their path. All she could do was glare with derision and push past us with contempt. There was not a pinch of grace or kindness coming from her. We had stolen a few seconds of her life and for that she was outraged.

If the tables had been turned, I knew I would never respond like that. I couldn’t coax an attitude like that if I tried. In fact, I typically would pivot to another aisle with my cart or maneuver around. I figure out a way and I don’t force my way when there is a hiccup. I would rather put myself out than put someone else out.

I found myself deeply engrossed in the moment. As if that moment, with that look I momentarily caught from her, was stuck frozen in my mind. I could feel myself plunge into myself. I took in the emotional pain and didn’t shy from the feeling.

The feeling of being rejected and embarrassed came over me fully. I allowed it to. I felt worthless and rejected again. Yet I didn’t push past this emotion the way I usually do. I usually run from feelings of discouragement, embarrassment and dejection. This time I allowed it to sink it so that I could feel the full thrust of it. And you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I envisioned it to be. It was less painful just fully being immersed in my own blunder, my own ineptitude, my own lack of skill whilst navigating the perils of target with my 3 young children.

The key takeaway here is that there is always power in those moments of intense displeasure and embarrassment. Those are the instances where you can fully pull back—fully retract into a sense of mindfulness. And mindfulness is something we all need to get back into more often. In fact, we need frequent reminders to become mindful. We hear about the technique of mindfulness constantly, yet we forget about it. I’m mindless most of my days. We need everyday reminders! I need everyday reminders!

As I start out the new year with New Year’s resolutions, I will be using any negative or embarrassing occasion to conjure up mindfulness. Mindfulness is the antidote for any fleeting pain or trial. Since everything passes by so quickly anyways, there’s no reason to sit in the suffering. All you need to do is look at it, head on and then it disappears. Time goes on and that particular instance is FAR behind you. There is a world out there with plenty more interesting people and abundant opportunities.