Tag: self growth

WHIPPING UP DESIRE FOR PURSUING GOALS

WHIPPING UP DESIRE FOR PURSUING GOALS

I’m not at the end of my rope. I can do more than I realize. The market is saturated with influencers, attention grabbing headlines. It’s coated thickly with social media content and ideas. But this speaks more of this moment and moments change. Everything is in a state of flux and there are times for luck, for chance to find its way. You’ve got to find something, figure something out…make a way. You’ve got to keep up the momentum.

The realization that I’m coming to this week is that SO MUCH can be credited to simple desire. If you don’t have the desire or interest, nothing happens. DESIRE IS WHERE IT’S AT. No desire, no initial thrust towards something. No interest, no energy flow to the next possible thing.

Desire is the first (and usually easiest) thing that seems to pull us in a direction. Then we need the energy and motivation to sustain. But first, it’s desire. To gain desire you need to play around with something. Sometimes it’s a concept, or maybe it’s playing with paint, photography, wood, fabric or cardboard. Perhaps you need to spend a little time writing some words down or listening to a music piece. Maybe you just need to take that device or appliance apart.

So, if you ever notice you have a particular interest for something or maybe an idea appears and pulls at your attention, the next step is to give in to it. Try to see this beckoning as a natural push to get you out of homeostasis and maybe into a temporary flow state. This can yield dramatic returns on your life and wellbeing.

It takes effort and sometimes resources to pursue even the smallest desire. But this is worth the investment. You can use this opportunity of desire to turn a new leaf. At the very least you can get out of an anhedonic state.

And this is the crux of what I’m getting at. So many of us are in a mental state where we don’t have tremendous desire or interest for ANYTHING. Even just the act of stirring up intrigue seems exhausting. Yet, nature does present you with the occasional desire. Think of desire as a gift. Not everyone has desire. Not everyone has enough desire to make it happen or to finish even a basic small creation. We can’t even finish a longer video; much more initiate our own project. Most of us are living our days taming our boredom. Usually, we’re just scrolling along and being as stationary as possible.

This kind of static behavior on a daily basis induces a state of apathy for many things. Even more, it trains the mind for auto pilot mode.

Do you know what I’m getting at? You start to think only through the lens that is shaped by various content creators. You’re not allowing your mind to sublimate on its’ own stew of subconscious content.

Great things arise out of your subconscious mind when you let it happen–when you give your mind time to let it happen. When you give your mind time away from attention grabbing headlines, media, social media, or other online or in-person sources. Giving your mind a pause or fast away from online content (typically the ones that you find yourself compulsively checking–those are the worst!) will start to allow you to bring novel ideas and inventions to the forefront of your brain. I’ve seen this happen myself. It surprisingly works but you must take a refrain from the auto-pilot state.

Here’s another thought. The next time you have the impulse to criticize someone else for “wasting their time”–SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY EMBARKING ON SOMETHING OR MAKING SOMETHING–maybe even some dumb creation–a cardboard sculpture, a blah blog post, or something that looks almost “useless” remember, somebody whipped up the DESIRE to DO THAT THING and even FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. They first had to have that initial uncanny desire to even approach the creation that they did. Then, they had to see it to the end. And many of these people are consistent and CREATE WEEKLY. Now that’s hard. It’s one thing to create something. It’s an entirely different thing to create monthly or weekly.

You may not appreciate someone’s final product. But you should have some sort of inspiration or admiration for the value of human desire. Some humans have discovered this desire and furthermore have the deliberation to untangle some aspect of physical reality and then to recreate, re-think, re-imagine, repurpose it. Desire is a gift. You, too, can take notice of it when it arises. We all get the desire feeling at some point or another. Next, take advantage of it. Don’t take the feeling of desire for granted because that feeling WILL PASS and you will be back to mental homeostasis.

JUST START TAKING ACTION!

Lately, I’ve been learning about taking action. The best time to take action is always as soon as you can!

The recently rising entrepreneurial star on YouTube, Alex Hormozi who started from scratch and has made HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS by his early 30’s, is famous for saying, “The key to success is to reduce the time between when you have a thought and when you take action.”

Taking action and running from procrastination is the FIRST KEY TO SUCCESS. Do something and DO ANYTHING. If you just start, you’ll find a way. You’ll receive some feedback, and you’ll discover a different twist along your path. This is much better than “waiting for the right moment to take action.”. Remember you ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME. And then, it’s over. It’s better to start making the mistakes and failures now than waiting to make mistakes later.

While ice skating with my 6-year-old son yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice two distinct groups on the rink: cautious beginners sticking to basic forward skating and daring experts executing impressive leaps and spins. It’s as if everyone’s avoiding the middle ground between playing it safe and risking a face-plant!

It made me realize that sometimes we refuse to act because we don’t want to go through the embarrassment of the next risky step. We would rather “show off once we get there” but we hesitate to approach that middle ground of floundering—that middle ground of hard work and trial and error that exists between novice and Pro.

Taking action is easier for some things. Ever notice how easy it is to click on an Instagram, Facebook or other social media Icon on your phone and just start scrolling? It’s extremely easy and mindless to do this task. And if the statistics are valid, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH ARE ENGAGING IN THIS PASSIVE BEHAVIOR EACH DAY—throughout the day!

What if we started to think of other endeavors or tasks as just as easy and mindless?

 What if we just opened a Word document on our computers and just started writing? What if we  started brainstorming possible things that we wanted to learn?

What if we jumped on our exercise machines without “getting our workout gear on”? Even for just 5 minutes!

It’s intriguing to consider how effortlessly we engage in passive behaviors like scrolling through social media, yet we hesitate to apply the same level of ease and mindlessness to other endeavors. What if we approached writing, learning, or exercising with the same nonchalant attitude? By reframing our mindset and acknowledging that starting is often the hardest part, we can overcome the inertia of procrastination and propel ourselves towards our goals.

Let’s challenge ourselves to adopt the mentality of “just start.” Whether it’s opening a blank document, brainstorming ideas, or hopping on the exercise machine without overthinking it, taking that initial step is the catalyst for progress. Remember, time is finite, and it’s better to embrace mistakes and failures along the way than to wait for the elusive “perfect moment” that may never come. In the end, the journey of taking action is where growth and success truly unfold!

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Gaining Resilience Through Vulnerability

Gaining Resilience Through Vulnerability

I hear people use the term “vulnerable” a lot these days. They speak of being vulnerable in favorable terms. It’s vogue to say, “I get strength from my vulnerability.”

When I think of vulnerability, I think of the likelihood of being subject to the ridicule, the disappointment, the rejection, the distancing or the undue scrutiny of others.

Being vulnerable seems to be putting yourself in a position where other people can weigh in. Being vulnerable is being dependent on other people. It’s being subject to other people.

Other people can do the following: fault you for your personality, your physicality, your political or religious affiliations, your cognitive function and how you handle situations, your sense of humor, your efforts, the things you say and do, the talents (you think) you have… your possessions (or lack thereof)—the list goes on. At that point they can remove their friendship from you. They can shame you and judge you. They can cut off any resources they were giving to you including encouragement, insight and knowledge.

Vulnerability might also be thought of as just being less physically or financially able as the average person. (And yes, I, too, hate it when celebrities make grandiose proclamations about “Gaining strength from their vulnerability.” (Sorry, you don’t get to call yourself “vulnerable” if you’re not disabled and you have enough money to depend entirely ON YOUR INDIVIDUAL SELF for several life-spans.).

For the rest of though, to develop a sense of strength and mental fortitude, we must stick our necks out the window of life and be courageous. We must try. We must try and become something. We must act and not simply spectate. When you act, other people will inevitably notice and they are going to respond. People are going to either like you more or dislike you more.

Nothing comes for free. Often, it’s these risky, “vulnerable” moves in life that will offer the greatest rewards in the long run. But you must take them. The cost is taking the risk. Agreed, you’ll be the one negatively impacted if the risky move turns bad. You might gain the disapproval and shaming from others. Sometimes, this can result in soul-crushing anxiety and despair. Rejection is one of the worst feelings to live with.

Remember though, it is through our vulnerability that we ultimately develop resilience. Make that be your life’s motto. This tough, persistent “I can take it” attitude is what needs to be developed.

What do you do when you feel rejected or rebuffed…when you feel as though you’re always trying to win the approval of others but often met with either some sort of condescending lip-service or outright disappointment?

One of my recent strategies is to just say aloud “Be resilient. Be resilient. This is going to take some time. You are currently in the moment. Give it a few hours—or maybe 3 days, but by then, you’ll be fine again. Those strong feelings will have passed.

You want to get past those strong torrents of emotion because that is when your behavior and reactions are likely to be unstable. You want to imagine yourself riding through those moments, almost like you’re on a boat in the sea, floating to stable land, but you must get there first.

Reminding myself that I must reestablish my mindset and focus on resilience provides me with an escape from my current feelings.