KEEP MENTAL NOTES

We keep being told “What gets measured gets managed”.

If you can see your waist whittling down, you can measure it to confirm a reduction in inches.

Likewise, if you think you’re getting more movement throughout the day and becoming less sedentary—you can measure the number of daily steps you’re getting with a Fit app on your phone.

When you get to experience and visualize the improvements in your various goals you have instituted for yourself, you get a mental reward.

You end up finding ways to implement measurement techniques into your life. Did you forego sugar for half the day? If you can’t track it somewhere JUST NOTICE IT. Keep a mental note. Always take moments to thank yourself and reward yourself with just the thought.

Do you have a social media account where you post regular photos or reels? You’re constantly tracking your success. You’re tracking your reach with the analytics on the platform you use. You’ll take note of comments, likes, views and subscriber numbers. As you look at the metrics and consider them, your brain is taking notice.

You end up gaining a sense of both inspiration and motivation when you see these improvements in your metrics.

We need to start realizing that health, mental health and self-improvement requires this metric or “analytic system” too.

One thing I want to emphasize is that you don’t necessarily need to jot it down or keep an orderly tab on a device. Instead, just think about it. Your brain is a computer too. Take mental pictures of your little successes. In other words, savor your success for a moment and give yourself credit.

The reason why this method is so undiscussed is because we have a million apps and a million programs and tools at our disposal to keep track of our progress.

But what if it was far simpler and far more accessible and much quicker just to give yourself constant reminders?

You probably give yourself mental reminders about “How out of shape you are” or “How you’re terribly inept at such and such”. It’s easy to deluge your brain with constant, negative mental reminders. Psychology tells us that we have a negativity bias. Our brains are wired to see the negative and the scary since our species developed on the African plains confronted by vicious beasts of all kinds. The human brain naturally wired itself from the beginning to be LEERY before CHEERY.

Perhaps we could turn this all around and start to slowly give ourselves little mental notes when we perform the task effectively or we do something correctly.

Even if just a small thing, just say “Okay, I did that one thing!” or “I lifted weights in the basement for 2 minutes.”. Or “I parked very far from the store entrance in order to get more steps in.” Maybe you just need to remind yourself “I don’t have a headache right now, that means I can focus on any task better.”

Take mental notes throughout the day. Your brain does notice this, it builds reserve for more productive future actions. There is a snowball effect that is occurring.

Just as Dave Ramsey has a method about paying off the small debts first to gain a sense of accomplishment to have the mental impetus to pay off the larger debts later, perhaps we need to NOTICE THE LITTLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS FIRST in order to have the mental ability to sustain ourselves as we work towards BIGGER accomplishments.

To Boil it down: Start small and don’t make it technical! Just take mental notes about the positive instances in your life. Your brain will take notice, even if subconsciously, and will push you into further positive actions.

PEOPLE TELL YOU NOT TO POST CONTROVERSIAL OR PROVACATIVE IDEAS ON FACEBOOK

This is something that I want you to remember: the next time someone tells you not to post a controversial or provocative Facebook post or the next time they chide you “Facebook is not the place”, you can remind them of this:

Nobody (or, almost no one) reads a dense non-fiction book to completion. They skip around or don’t finish it.
Fewer people are reading lengthy articles on the internet of any kind.
Fewer people are reading at all.
When people are “reading” they’re usually scrolling and capturing quick, short bits of information in a hurry.

The next thing you can mention is the EVIDENCE STRONGLY SUGGESTS that people spend LOTS of time hovering over and READING comments from various Facebook posters/accounts, especially if the posts are intriguing, controversial or even just slightly provocative.

I’m not talking about near nudity or explicit posts that generate the SAME kind of expected commentary. I’m referring to written posts that nudge people to read and then respond with their own intellectual take or perhaps push back with a logical and fact based retort. People are often considering all the other comments before posting their own. They don’t want to sound like they’re just repeating the same thing but have taken the time to think about the various comments and have arrived at a slightly nuanced angle. In other words, they END UP SPENDING MORE TIME on that post with lots of comments.

People are naturally curious. People also don’t always have the time to plow through a dense book that may be regarded as controversial. But somehow Facebook analytics and all the research we have until now suggests that people DO spend quite a bit of time in comment sections. If they’re not actively responding, their passively reading. And posts that make a person think for a moment will always generate more engagement, more time spent on that post.

This nonsense BS that FACEBOOK IS NOT THE PLACE TO POST SOME IDEA is NOT backed by evidence or what people are ACTUALLY engaged by or act upon. By far, Facebook is the place because people are more likely to be actively scrolling through Facebook than to be flipping through the pages of book–even if the book is controversial or engaging.

We need to rethink the common phrase “Facebook is not the place”. If you’re a digital creator, Facebook is most certainly the place. Of course you can lose followers but your reach directly expands for potential new followers or friends. Also, the algorithm constantly takes notes. It sees beyond quick likes where people scroll past rapidly vs. people hovering and reading and actually being fully immersed in a post or a string up comments below the post–even if they don’t click “like”.

I recently discovered that length of time spent is a STRONGER INDICATOR of reach and engagement than likes. Someone won’t like your post but they’ll hover over it and spend their precious time on it anonymously. Always remember that. The algorithm knows.

So if you have any interest in success measures like MAKING MONEY $$$$$$ or building a FOLLOWING in the digital sphere, you’ll need to rethink these overused expressions that really don’t have any bearing on reality.

THE 300 PEOPLE YOU INTERACT WITH IS ONLY 0.00000375 of 8.2 BILLION PEOPLE/GLOBAL POPULATION

You probably have more options than you realize. You probably have more reach. With the modern digital landscape, you can be influential because your ability to expand, grow and be recognized by a larger number of people is so much more ample. Meanwhile, your everyday life experience may be limited by the number of people you encounter and form both shallow and profound relationships with.

Dunbar’s number suggests that most people interact with and form stable relationships with 150 to 300 people in their life (and that’s a generous range!). The problem with these 150 to 300 people that we mostly see and interact with is that they provide a very limited “small pond” effect to our brains. This is a cognitive bias.

Thus, in reality, we interact with a VERY SMALL FRACTION of the global population. It’s impossible for our brains to internalize the vastness, the scale of it all. Instead, we rely on our limited understanding to gauge the world–especially OURSELVES IN THIS WORLD. Our thoughts regarding our opportunities, chances and options are simultaneously shrunk down to size.

We start to judge ourselves based on the overall tenor and consensus of how these 0.00000375 people in the global population respond to us. We’re constantly worrying about our character and how it is being perceived, evaluated, from the metrics coming from that very small population we are working with. For example, if we get fired, a few times (or even many times!) we assume our experience of ourselves is representative of THE LARGER REALITY.

If we blow it on our blog–with our you tube channel—with our social media posts- or even with something like the kiosk that we run at our local Farmer’s Market–WE ASSUME THAT WE HAVE A FIXED AUDIENCE or FIXED CLIENTS/PATRONS. You do not.

If you’re like me, your blog will attract some people from Pakistan one day and people from Iceland another day. Audiences change. People grow out of what you have to say. People find newer, fresher, younger faces or maybe they remember you and come back. You still have a chance to grow and have influence and success if you manage to hook even just a few people. You have to make people remember you.

Back to what I was saying earlier, if most of those people “in your current circle” think a certain way, have very different personality traits than we do, or are super judgmental, you’ll start to regard yourself through the same lens. Perhaps these individuals don’t make any outright negative statements–only little ones that diminish you or make you feel “you don’t have what it takes”, “You’re incomplete” or “You’re not there yet”.

Because of our cognitive biases, we project the opinions of a HANDFUL of certain people onto an entire hypothetical “public”. If our boss or work mates show disappointment for our idea, we feel like EVERYONE is disappointed with it. If a particular social group show’s aversion or dissatisfaction for your choices, it can feel like your’re just a general loser.

Often, we inflate the long-term impact of a single mistake.

We start to think that that circle of people defines who we are. Or, that must be the way the world is. But maybe we have it wrong. Maybe we just have the wrong 150-300 people in our circle from the get-go. Maybe we’ve been dealt a bad hand of people from the start.

Maybe someone like Steve Jobs had a bunch of “the right” people around him at the right time. Without that specific concoction of people, maybe he would have never had the sustained inspiration to carve out a successful path and put his ideas out there.

Afterall, it’s easier to try new things and throw our ideas out there with the right kind of people surrounding us. It’s much harder when we feel fear of what kind of half-hearted commentary we’re going to receive or worse, someone who changes the subject to talk about “the weather” a “recent event” or something very mundane like something they noticed about a particular street, car, celebrity, place. It can feel dismissive and boring at the same time.

My go-to thought when I’m feeling like I’ve been handed the wrong surrounding of people:

There are 8 BILLION people on the planet. Considering that number, my reputation is not at stake as much as I think. Like me, you need to NOT let those 12 job-related encounters–or even 30–establish your baseline identity or character.

To reiterate, maybe the successful people in the world had the right 150- 300 at there disposal from the very beginning. They had people who were cheerful, positive, successful themselves, happy, open to new ideas–philosophically minded, dreamers and willing to keep working at it and trying etc. Those are the kind of collaborators you want. If you don’t have them now, you can change things up. You can use the vast numbers of people who navigate the internet as a potential wellspring to draw from.

These are trite, already known thoughts. But the point is you must constantly remind yourself that there are 8 Billion people to exploit.

Maybe you can’t change things up right now. But at least you can remember THE LAW OF LARGE NUMBERS. That is, despite the common mantra “It’s a small world after all”. It really isn’t. There are 8 BILLION PEOPLE to exhaust your resources, time, attention and talents. There isn’t enough time in your life to remotely scratch the surface or all that’s out there. “The tip of the iceberg” platitude doesn’t even BEGIN to convey how FEW PEOPLE YOU’VE really interacted with or even more, formed a meaningful connection with or could have an impact on.

Don’t let those 5 people at your company/work determine who you are. Even if you’ve ruined your reputation at an entire company, remember there are literally millions of companies globally that you could reach out to or that may find your skills or personality admirable. BEEN IN PRISON? Guess what? If you’re out, there are TONS OF POTENTIAL opportunities if you’ve truly committed to a crime-free life and you have a willful determination to make something of yourself. There are literally thousands of countries where you could stake out your next project or business pursuit.

Remember the doctor who killed Michael Jackson? Guess what? In 2023 he successfully opened his own medical institute in San Juan and also in Trinidad and Tobago. He is back to not only being a successful doctor, but developing thriving clinics.

The odds are in your favor because the global population is enormous. And don’t let me get started with your ability to use AI and use it to carve out even more bifurcations that lead to EVEN MORE OPPORTUNITIES. Imagine the global population surging with robots? That’s even more “people” to work with.

There are so many mistakes you can make with different people and yet still billions of more people to “try it out on”. And, if you were making some sort of cardinal, egregious mistake, that mistake will eventually be corrected or modified after so many iterations and interactions with different people. You just have to keep reaching out to more people.

To conclude, remember that your REPUTATION isn’t a single, monolithic thing. It’s really just a bunch of perceptions held by different people in different contexts. A gaffe in one area may be unknown or irrelevant to other people who are not in your direct circle. Most people–even that small group of 150 to 300 that you might engage with yearly–are too busy to care about your mistakes for too long because they have their own lives to dwell on and their own mistakes.There will always be TONS of people on the globe for you to work with and have an impact on.

WHIPPING UP DESIRE FOR PURSUING GOALS

I’m not at the end of my rope. I can do more than I realize. The market is saturated with influencers, attention grabbing headlines. It’s coated thickly with social media content and ideas. But this speaks more of this moment and moments change. Everything is in a state of flux and there are times for luck, for chance to find its way. You’ve got to find something, figure something out…make a way. You’ve got to keep up the momentum.

The realization that I’m coming to this week is that SO MUCH can be credited to simple desire. If you don’t have the desire or interest, nothing happens. DESIRE IS WHERE IT’S AT. No desire, no initial thrust towards something. No interest, no energy flow to the next possible thing.

Desire is the first (and usually easiest) thing that seems to pull us in a direction. Then we need the energy and motivation to sustain. But first, it’s desire. To gain desire you need to play around with something. Sometimes it’s a concept, or maybe it’s playing with paint, photography, wood, fabric or cardboard. Perhaps you need to spend a little time writing some words down or listening to a music piece. Maybe you just need to take that device or appliance apart.

So, if you ever notice you have a particular interest for something or maybe an idea appears and pulls at your attention, the next step is to give in to it. Try to see this beckoning as a natural push to get you out of homeostasis and maybe into a temporary flow state. This can yield dramatic returns on your life and wellbeing.

It takes effort and sometimes resources to pursue even the smallest desire. But this is worth the investment. You can use this opportunity of desire to turn a new leaf. At the very least you can get out of an anhedonic state.

And this is the crux of what I’m getting at. So many of us are in a mental state where we don’t have tremendous desire or interest for ANYTHING. Even just the act of stirring up intrigue seems exhausting. Yet, nature does present you with the occasional desire. Think of desire as a gift. Not everyone has desire. Not everyone has enough desire to make it happen or to finish even a basic small creation. We can’t even finish a longer video; much more initiate our own project. Most of us are living our days taming our boredom. Usually, we’re just scrolling along and being as stationary as possible.

This kind of static behavior on a daily basis induces a state of apathy for many things. Even more, it trains the mind for auto pilot mode.

Do you know what I’m getting at? You start to think only through the lens that is shaped by various content creators. You’re not allowing your mind to sublimate on its’ own stew of subconscious content.

Great things arise out of your subconscious mind when you let it happen–when you give your mind time to let it happen. When you give your mind time away from attention grabbing headlines, media, social media, or other online or in-person sources. Giving your mind a pause or fast away from online content (typically the ones that you find yourself compulsively checking–those are the worst!) will start to allow you to bring novel ideas and inventions to the forefront of your brain. I’ve seen this happen myself. It surprisingly works but you must take a refrain from the auto-pilot state.

Here’s another thought. The next time you have the impulse to criticize someone else for “wasting their time”–SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY EMBARKING ON SOMETHING OR MAKING SOMETHING–maybe even some dumb creation–a cardboard sculpture, a blah blog post, or something that looks almost “useless” remember, somebody whipped up the DESIRE to DO THAT THING and even FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. They first had to have that initial uncanny desire to even approach the creation that they did. Then, they had to see it to the end. And many of these people are consistent and CREATE WEEKLY. Now that’s hard. It’s one thing to create something. It’s an entirely different thing to create monthly or weekly.

You may not appreciate someone’s final product. But you should have some sort of inspiration or admiration for the value of human desire. Some humans have discovered this desire and furthermore have the deliberation to untangle some aspect of physical reality and then to recreate, re-think, re-imagine, repurpose it. Desire is a gift. You, too, can take notice of it when it arises. We all get the desire feeling at some point or another. Next, take advantage of it. Don’t take the feeling of desire for granted because that feeling WILL PASS and you will be back to mental homeostasis.

NEGATIVE GROCERY STORE ENCOUNTERS: POWER IN THE EMOTIONAL MOMENT

A very quick yet (hopefully) pithy blog post today. I don’t expect anyone to read it. I do like to purge here on my blog and scribble out my thoughts to various interactions. In life, people will cause you the most pain. Hands down. There is nothing that will instigate more problems or conjure more negative self-talk than other people. Rarely do you wake up and simply decide to think negatively about yourself. Usually, it’s a frustrating encounter with another human being that sets off a cascade of negative self-talk and rumination.

It’s other people’s expressions, reactions and mannerisms that bring you to this psychological state. You may be minding your own business or thinking your own thoughts, yet someone acts a certain way and throws you off. Maybe they exhibit an attitude that you feel is unfair to your current situation. I know, I know, we hear it all the time “you are responsible for your own feelings”. This said, it’s almost always another person who has done the initiating or acted unreasonably considering the circumstances.

I had the experience of someone’s irritation, contempt and derision in Target yesterday. Perhaps it was because I was in Target and not in Walmart (where all the humble people abide). I can’t put my finger on it but these kinds of encounters never arrive when we’re at Walmart.

My children were blocking an aisle, as usual. My back was turned away from the approaching customer, her husband and (one) child. Once I realized the obstacle we had created for her, I immediately said “I’m so sorry!” and we speedily moved out of their path. All she could do was glare with derision and push past us with contempt. There was not a pinch of grace or kindness coming from her. We had stolen a few seconds of her life and for that she was outraged.

If the tables had been turned, I knew I would never respond like that. I couldn’t coax an attitude like that if I tried. In fact, I typically would pivot to another aisle with my cart or maneuver around. I figure out a way and I don’t force my way when there is a hiccup. I would rather put myself out than put someone else out.

I found myself deeply engrossed in the moment. As if that moment, with that look I momentarily caught from her, was stuck frozen in my mind. I could feel myself plunge into myself. I took in the emotional pain and didn’t shy from the feeling.

The feeling of being rejected and embarrassed came over me fully. I allowed it to. I felt worthless and rejected again. Yet I didn’t push past this emotion the way I usually do. I usually run from feelings of discouragement, embarrassment and dejection. This time I allowed it to sink it so that I could feel the full thrust of it. And you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I envisioned it to be. It was less painful just fully being immersed in my own blunder, my own ineptitude, my own lack of skill whilst navigating the perils of target with my 3 young children.

The key takeaway here is that there is always power in those moments of intense displeasure and embarrassment. Those are the instances where you can fully pull back—fully retract into a sense of mindfulness. And mindfulness is something we all need to get back into more often. In fact, we need frequent reminders to become mindful. We hear about the technique of mindfulness constantly, yet we forget about it. I’m mindless most of my days. We need everyday reminders! I need everyday reminders!

As I start out the new year with New Year’s resolutions, I will be using any negative or embarrassing occasion to conjure up mindfulness. Mindfulness is the antidote for any fleeting pain or trial. Since everything passes by so quickly anyways, there’s no reason to sit in the suffering. All you need to do is look at it, head on and then it disappears. Time goes on and that particular instance is FAR behind you. There is a world out there with plenty more interesting people and abundant opportunities.

MOMS ARE THE MOST OVERWHELMED, BUSIEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET

Moms are the busiest, most overwhelmed people on the planet. I don’t think I can emphasize this enough. It can’t be said more. Today I want to take a chance to fully embrace and support all the moms out there!

Back in the days before I had children, I heard a story about a mom who melted the bottom of her laptop. She inadvertently placed her laptop on the top of a (previously) hot stove. I couldn’t fathom how someone could do such a thing. How careless!

Years later after having 3 little children, I recall this story often. I now KNOW, with CERTAINTY how likely this could happen if you’re a mom. I have days where my laptop is sitting on a counter with a mountain of clutter, kids are shouting orders at me in slavedriver fashion. I’m dashing around the kitchen trying to get someone milk or water or clean up spilled milk that is now being tracked through the hall. Two of the kids are screaming and one is in full-scale tantrum mode. I’m juggling my children’s feeding and drinking requests while I’m trying to check on kids’ assignments/grades on their education portal, paying bills, reading the recipe for dinner or just trying to keep my mind sharp with a podcast in the background. I’ve got a full bladder, and a crayon stuck to the bottom of my foot.

In such frantic chaos, I can see how easy it would be to accidentally shove a laptop through the mountain of counter clutter onto a cooling stovetop. Moms are juggling too many things. We’re doing about 5 things AT ALL TIMES. WE’RE STILL BEHIND. I see people leisurely sitting around scrolling very inane social media posts or tik tok videos. I’ve never actually been on Tik Tok. Not once. I can’t imagine the amount of productivity and time being wasted daily on these platforms. I see the loss of human potential.

As moms, we’re told we can’t complain because “we chose to have kids”. Meanwhile, our friends who are working a job they dislike complain about it non-stop but we don’t say “You can quit your job and find another one.” We listen with an attentive ear. We empathize and realize how hard it must be to work full time in a semi high-paying career, being mentally challenged and then come home to an empty house without screaming children and non-stop messes where one could then pursue various passions and hobbies. Life must be so terrible and depressing.

We realize how tough it must be to not have big gaps in our career and resumes. Don’t we all want big career/job gaps on our resumes? Isn’t that an advantage these days? Additionally, it must be hard to fully engage one’s brain and be challenged by a cutting-edge career that has the potential to increase one’s monetary success, opportunities and social clout. Nobody wants that! How tough it must be for career women!

All the sarcasm and whining aside, the studies reveal that MORE AND MORE women are pursuing education and careers instead of child-rearing. Women with children are also pursuing careers and education. Life is stressful for everyone.

But………. women with several small children have it much harder. Sorry. I had to say it. I’ve done it both ways and I know that making money or pursuing education are quite fun in comparison to managing repetitive disasters all day whilst listening to an orchestra of screams and shouts. And yes, I know this period only lasts a little while and then it’s over. But I still think the burden is almost unforgiveable. And yes, I complain about it because I know my mom, my grandmothers and my aunts never did. They weren’t allowed to complain.

To end this rant, I want to salute all women with multiple children juggling so many tasks all at once! Whether you’re a single mom working or not, a working mom or a stay-at-home Mom. The survival of the HUMAN SPECIES (before AI and AGI takes over) LITERALLY DEPENDS ON YOU MOMS!

The world population is sharply declining! People are less likely to have children or have a desire for children. With advances in AI technology, even fewer children will be born. Perhaps, we humans will morph into part-robots with fewer social needs because AI and AGI will fulfill those needs. We won’t need to “Make more humans” because technology will give rise to conscious beings that will serve as the next tier of evolution as we know it. Theoretical speculation, but fun to consider!

So just remember, being a mom is very important for the human species. It’s not very fun a lot of the time but it is the feature that has brought humanity to where it is right now. Civilization needed a long line of mothers to get to where we are. We needed a surplus of humans with skills and interests that would usher in scientific innovation and the chance to fulfill our potential as humans. Thank goodness for all the moms in history who gave birth to all the incredible brains out there! We are discovering solutions to some of the world’s most complex problems!

HAVE JUST ONE HIGH PERFORMING BLOG POST!!!

Did you know that just ONE HIGH PERFORMING BLOG POST ON YOUR BLOG can significantly impact your blog’s success in terms of Google search? Even if you have 50, 150 or even 500 LAME BLOG POSTS and only ONE of them is doing well, your blog will be ranked higher than other blogs. This means people are more likely to discover your blog in the long run.

Let’s reiterate: Never underestimate the power of just ONE high performing blog post. This happened to me a few years ago. I continually reap the benefits of that one single post. Everyday I’m getting views and blog traffic from simply having one high performance entry. People stumble on my blog via that one post…often, they check out other posts. That one post has served as a hook– and it’s become very effective for my blog, overall. After some research, I learned that this is a strategy that most of the prominent bloggers have used to attract a steady stream of viewers. These individuals have taken steps to further their “brand” with books, YouTube videos, podcasts or various items related to their theme that they can ultimately MONETIZE.

When you have a blog, you want at least one GOTCHA POST where people spend some time. It doesn’t matter if you have a ton of content that doesn’t resonate with very many people or if they’re thinking MEH. BORING. We all have that experience WITH EVERY BLOG OUT THERE.

All you need is one high performing post. Additionally, you will need several other blog posts on your blog to establish your presence as a blogger—at least in terms of Google’s analytics and algorithm; this will help you stand out compared to other blogs. Those posts don’t have to yield a ton of engagement time or views. Just make your blog appear active, current and make certain it has some content.

Try to post at least twice a month. Make sure you’re writing posts in your own words! People can easily copy and paste your writing into an AI to determine if you’re legit or if you’re simply regurgitating copy and paste blocks of text from another AI generator. This tool is called AI Detector, and more and more people and companies are using these detectors to screen out computer generated writing from REAL human generated writing.

Something else I recently learned? Did you know that if you’re simply copying and pasting swaths of text from an AI generator, you’ll be NATURALLY PUSHED DOWN IN GOOGLE’s SEARCH ALGORITHM? YEP! The entire purpose of blogging is for humans to struggle with their thoughts, emotions and inner experiences–and TO WRITE THEM DOWN. Blogging is by definition the BLOGGERS THINKING. It’s your own thinking…what you’re currently learning and how you’re dealing with it. Writing is a wrestling act with your own thoughts and emotions and coming up with solutions in the form of WORDS. AI generators will not have the same human touch, that similar finesse with human experiences and situations in the human would. AI written content is quickly identified by complex computer algorithms and it’s pushed down in search. But if you’re a blogger you naturally adore the writing process, so this won’t be an issue for you! You’ll use AI to help you fully understand phenomena or learn the definitions of words and ways to improve your grammar. You won’t dump a bolus of text on a page constructed from another entity.

As you start to blog and write regularly, you’ll notice that you’re improving both your writing and thinking skills. You’re also developing a habit of writing! You’ll feel that surge of dopamine as you can both use your words to influence others and to simultaneously provide information about various topics. These topics INTEREST YOU. So, you’ll be motivated to learn and then watch and see if anyone else happens to enjoy your interests as well. You get to learn and write, learn and write! It feels like you’re building a memorable tower of knowledge that even you will go back to from time to time.

Anyone, even a SINGLE PERSON SPENDING TIME ON YOUR BLOG FACTORS INTO THE METRIC OF ENGAGEMENT. If they happen to find your blog and then leave quickly, this prices into the calculation called BOUNCE RATE. A blogs bounce rate is how fast someone finds your blog and then leaves after visiting one page. When your blog has a HIGH BOUNCE RATE it means visitors are not finding what they’re interested in. They’re less engaged so they leave after one shot. Google’s algorithm will lower your blog’s presence in search. Fewer people will find your blog. You have fewer chances of getting big. You have fewer chances of reaping any money.

In my opinion, The BREAD AND BUTTER of BLOGS are VIEWS. Not subscribers, not followers. These come and go. It’s easy to get into an emotional tither when people leave or unsubscribe. You express a political or religious view and people leave. You say something dumb. You get boring. You feel awful when you lose followers and your motivation dips. You stop writing and creating.

But views? Daily views are a signal that your blog is still providing relevant content to those asking questions on various search engines/platforms. Keep track of your daily views and let that inspire you! That’s been my main go-to in term of motivation for blogging. At least I’m getting views, even if not from loyal followers or subscribers. At least the algorithm is favoring my blog and engagement is UP!

You can let people go their way if they decide, but getting random views REGULARLY simply by speaking your mind will give you the impetus to keep going…to keep writing. Why would you want to be a slave to AUDIENCE CAPTURE? This is the phenomenon when a content creator starts to feel anxiety because they have to fulfill the expectations and interests of their audience. They become trapped. As a blogger you know you need A TON OF CONTENT TO GET NOTICED. How can you continually generate content that ALWAYS reflects the interests of your followers?

You can’t have it both ways. Either you generate a ton of content on various topics where you’re shrill and vocal–some that makes you lose active followers OR, you focus solely on what you think your readers WANT TO HEAR. Don’t do that! Be yourself. If you’ve created one momentous blog post, you’ll still be discoverable. There are so many fish in the sea and there’s way more to gain than lose if you keep presenting YOUR OWN VIEWS.

Cheers to blogging and creating that ONE POST that gets you noticed! You’ll get YEARS of success from that one single blog post.

FINDING CREATIVITY

Having everything done on my to-do list and my feet resting flat on the floor is becoming the trick to ushering in the expansion of my creativity. I’m whittling stuff off my to-do list. I’m simultaneously realizing I don’t need to keep taking expensive college courses that interfere with my life. I’m focusing more on my children and anything that truly piques my interest.

Nursing school was fine. I did it! I got my RN. Truthfully, nursing isn’t something I think I can be good at as a profession. There’s just too many demands at the same time. You’re never done. People fall and you have to catch their bodies. I’ve worked with nurses who are still undergoing physical therapy themselves due to catching falling patients. Working in a nursing home taught me that. I only did it because my Grandmother chided me for pursuing an Esthetician license saying “Do something real! Do something that’s actually useful!” So, I took on nursing. Now, I have both a nursing (RN) degree and an Esthetician license. Since graduating in December of 2014, I’ve only had a couple nursing jobs and a few volunteering positions.

I’ve SLOWLY and recently released the grips my ego has over me. My ego seems to want more college education–to go further! My EGO wants me to forge a path ahead and grab ambition and accomplishment and knowledge and squeeze their products into a pitcher as one squeezes lemons for the delicious result of lemonade. Like everyone else, I seek the same applause from effortful pursuits. There is another desire I’m finding… to see creativity unfold.

But…I’m realizing if it’s not for the sake of creativity itself, it is just a vain attempt to build a greater self-empire. The ego wants to behold itself and showcase all of what it’s done.

No longer. I want to exemplify creativity and seek creative pursuits in all their forms for the sake of creativity itself. Not for money, or recognition or fleeting applause and approval but simply for learning and recreation. Creativity is fun. It satisfies itself. It needs nothing more.

Creativity is about finding the interconnectedness between two things. It asks, how can we look at something from a BIG picture or a SMALL picture? Creativity is a curious endeavor and requires that we look at things through various angles. FOR INSTANCE, LAST NIGHT I HAD A SUDDEN EUREKA MOMENT. A volcano is like an acne pimple or lesion. There is swelling, inflammation and heat that starts to roil beneath the surface. The volcano lifts the surrounding terrain in a cone shaped form as does the acne pimple on the skin. Both the pimple and volcano explode out onto surfaces. For the pimple it is the skin and for the volcano it is the surrounding terrain. The damage done below the surface of the skin can cause an acne scar in the formation of a crater as the skin starts to settle. In the same way, as the volcano settles, the terrain can form a caldera or crater.

This is how creativity can start emerging. In the example above I started to look at two things as though they may be connected. When you do this you start to recognize intriguing relationships between disparate phenomena! And it just keeps going from here. It can get very exciting and addicting and you’ll start pursuing creativity for its own sake.

How can you find creativity in your life? What I’m realizing is that YOU NEED BLOCKS OF UNINTERRUPTED TIME. No tuned-out periods of phone scrolling, no children screaming in the distance and no interruptions from surrounding clutter. Clutter can be a huge distraction because it signals to the brain that you HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Even if you try, it’s still there, it’s visual phenomena. It’s saying, “shuffle your attention over here from time to time”. Getting rid of stuff and cleaning your workspace will have a dramatic effect on your ability to engage in deeper creativity and approach the psychological experience called “Flow”. I’ve had flow several times and it’s one of the better gifts of human experience.

Thus, you need time plus an environment to start making creativity happen. It’s hard to get started but once you start rolling you start going. It’s really just an openness to possibility. It’s seeing every moment in a novel way. It’s asking, can I reframe this moment to make it better? You can adjust a tilted picture frame by moving it ever so slightly. In the same way, you can adjust your current reality by tilting it a bit and making it appear more novel. Take a moment to realize you can notice different things and then you take a different approach. Try zooming out with your focus and then zooming way back in. It’s all this adjustment and provides new insight and perspectives.

Also, don’t forget the power of sleep! I’m always way more likely to both think creativity and have more motivation to be creative when I get adequate sleep. When I’m well-rested, I have better resilience for my own failures or when people reject me or give me the cold shoulder. I have higher tolerance for so much more! When pursuing creative ambitions, you really need lots of tolerance because it’s a struggle to get going with creative pursuits and a struggle to KEEP GOING. You can have all the ideas in the world but its easy to flounder and stop.

Sometimes you do need moments of blandness and boredom to eventually get to more profound levels of creativity. It’s like your brain needs the contrast. I find that the most scintillating insights arrive when I’m doing very mundane tasks like moving about putting things away. My brain is slightly disengaged but yet there must be subconscious processes that are still occurring. I’ve discovered that very intense bursts of cardiovascular exercise seem to prepare me both mentally and physically for that calm that comes before the creative storm. I also feel good for exercising and exerting a form of self-discipline.

I’m eager to discover more synchronicities and possibilities with anything that I interact with. When you discover more and learn more you can see more connections that can lead to novel inventions, ideas or ways of doing things. I don’t have a formalized, set structure for discovering creativity but I’m deeply curious if perhaps there is a method that I will soon discover! I’m working on this!

I took my 6 Year Old Son’s ADHD Medication

Recently I tried a little of my son’s ADHD medication (methylphenidate/Ritalin). I’ve been curious for a while about its effects–so I decided to live a bit on the edge. I’m a risk taker when it comes to almost anything with the exception of my ego. I love to try new things. I love to gain new experiences. I’ve plunged myself into way too many hobbies of late. It’s no wonder that I may have some attentional or jumpy-around tendencies myself. I have a hard time finishing any task that requires many steps, or I find myself procrastinating or just not forging the mental stamina to continue. I embark upon many tasks at the beginning of the day, I whip up all the motivation I can, but the follow-through just kicks me down. Additionally, my mood is often not at its peak. I can sometimes feel what depression or despondency must feel like. I was eager to see if taking some of my son’s medication would have any impact on my mood, motivation, or even my mental stamina.

What I discovered was nothing short of brilliant. I felt AMAZING. Once I could feel the activation of the medicine, I suddenly enjoyed what I was doing. Sitting down and helping my 4-year-old learn to read is typically a very boring hard to endure slog. On this day, it was like a sudden epiphany for my mind. My exact thoughts were “Oh, I kind of enjoy this task! I feel like I’m in the moment and I’m accomplishing something that is useful for my son!” Needless to say, we made it through 5 books. I just was able to stay on task and didn’t tire from it.

That’s really what I noticed–the ability to NOT TIRE OUT. To NOT MOVE ON. The focus makes it so that you can complete more boring, mundane, step by step tasks or even attempt more arduous or challenging tasks. The brain really needs a particular cocktail of neurotransmitters to deal with the day-to-day drudgeries. I didn’t realize what I was lacking–or how much more focused I could actually be. Do some people have the privilege of functioning like this regularly? If so, I’m so jealous! What a treat to stay focused and have that accompanying sense of satisfaction.

According to my son’s pediatrician, everyone’s brain can actually benefit from methylphenidate (though it’s typically reserved for those with a true ADHD diagnosis). Recent studies reveal that this medicine can probably help anyone, even adults, and it does not cause addiction because it is short-acting. It helps while it’s in the body and then starts to fade within a few hours. It helps my son tremendously especially while he’s learning something. He can hold his gaze on any learning material longer than without it. And if he holds his attention on some bit of knowledge or information for longer, he stands a FAR BETTER CHANCE OF LEARNING AND RETENTION.

That day I was able to trim 3 different bushes (topiary style!) and stay on task with every other item on my to-do list. I felt a sustained energy and contentment for whatever it was I was doing. I was reminded of the brevity of life and how one of the values I have crystalized for myself is my POTENTIAL. Am I doing everything in my power to achieve my potential? Am I making efforts each day? Could regularly or occasionally taking this medication help improve my mental function and output? I’m left to deliberate about my options and if I will talk to my doctor about getting a methylphenidate prescription myself for occasional use.

If you are the type that just tires out from the long-list of day-to day life or “mentally checks out” you also might benefit from an ADHD evaluation or (potentially) a prescription from your doctor. I think that brain function is absolutely critical for overall health and good, everyday life experiences. It’s hard to enjoy life when you can’t stay on task or accomplish anything big or bigger. We all are dreamers and can see things that we would like or that need to get done. Our brain can easily conjure up grandiose images of what we would like to accomplish or all the possible creations we would like to make. The wherewithal, stamina and sense of satisfaction on each step of the way is where the difficulty lies. This is what I discovered by recently embracing my curiosity and trying my son’s medicine.

WRITING TO DO LISTS IS MAGIC

What I have learned is that writing a to-do list WORKS! This has become my secret way of translating things…projects, ideas, etc. into forward action.

When I WAKE UP EARLY and write my to-do list on a sheet of paper and then place it right on the top of my counter, I am face to face with it. I am far more likely to attempt any one of these to-to tasks than if I didn’t write the to-do-list.

The psychological sciences have discovered why writing a to-do list is so helpful. One of the reasons is that writing is the act of GETTING THE MIND ON BOARD. That is, when you write something, your brain is inevitably reflecting on that piece of data. Your inner thoughts are transcribed into material reality. Thinking is the first step. When you write you’re thinking about what you write. When a thought is written down, it is directing the brain towards that thing. It’s the beginning of motivation and motivation creates action.

With a to-do-list, there is great reward in crossing off the completed tasks with a BIG BLACK MARKER. I can hear the squeaky sound of the black marker. I notice the thick, inky feeling as it glides over a task on my to-do list and BLOTS it out in full and final punishment.

The reward is also the knowledge that I’m making progress; that I’m being productive.

The number of list items that I’ve attempted (and completed) from simply writing them down is ASTOUNDING. It’s as if the brain realizes, “Hey if I write this stuff down, I better at least do some of it.“

Now that I know this method of WRITING A NEW LIST DOWN EVERY SINGLE MORNING on a sheet of paper and placing that paper right on the top of the counter so that I can read it, I’m wondering if I could make other thoughts happen. You know, manifest into reality? I believe that this and more is possible. What you think is power. Continually engaging your mind in your daily activities by thinking about those activities and writing them down will push you toward them. Think about it, it certainly won’t push you away from them.

Often, I refrain from writing challenging (to me at least) things on my to-do list because I’m afraid to try them or they seem to take TOO MANY STEPS TO COMPLETE. Sometimes the steps involve personal embarrassment or being uncomfortable or even an ego bruising! I tell myself “I won’t write this down because I won’t try it anyway.” Well lately I’ve come to realize that writing the difficult things down DOES INDEED spur me to take a few steps towards the goal or item on my list. Even just a couple steps is better than no steps.

So yes, writing ANYTHING DOWN is MAGIC to your goals. It’s really the first step because you have decided to actively reflect and think about it and turn it from inside your mind onto a piece of paper. That’s it!

I want to go even further here in my goals and pursuits. I want to do actions that spur the creation of new ideas and inventions. Not for the sake of ego and selfish goals but for the sake of learning and finding ways to help humanity. Will I start with writing? Yes, that’s where I will start. Taking the time to write about anything and everything related to my goals, wishes or ideas will be the first step.

A Slice of My Trash, Travels and Tots

A Slice of My Travels and Baby Blog

Tag: productivity