Tag: personal-growth

KEEP MENTAL NOTES

KEEP MENTAL NOTES

We keep being told “What gets measured gets managed”.

If you can see your waist whittling down, you can measure it to confirm a reduction in inches.

Likewise, if you think you’re getting more movement throughout the day and becoming less sedentary—you can measure the number of daily steps you’re getting with a Fit app on your phone.

When you get to experience and visualize the improvements in your various goals you have instituted for yourself, you get a mental reward.

You end up finding ways to implement measurement techniques into your life. Did you forego sugar for half the day? If you can’t track it somewhere JUST NOTICE IT. Keep a mental note. Always take moments to thank yourself and reward yourself with just the thought.

Do you have a social media account where you post regular photos or reels? You’re constantly tracking your success. You’re tracking your reach with the analytics on the platform you use. You’ll take note of comments, likes, views and subscriber numbers.  As you look at the metrics and consider them, your brain is taking notice.

You end up gaining a sense of both inspiration and motivation when you see these improvements in your metrics.

We need to start realizing that health, mental health and self-improvement requires this metric or “analytic system” too.

One thing I want to emphasize is that you don’t necessarily need to jot it down or keep an orderly tab on a device. Instead, just think about it. Your brain is a computer too.  Take mental pictures of your little successes. In other words, savor your success for a moment and give yourself credit.

The reason why this method is so undiscussed is because we have a million apps and a million programs and tools at our disposal to keep track of our progress.

But what if it was far simpler and far more accessible and much quicker just to give yourself constant reminders?

You probably give yourself mental reminders about “How out of shape you are” or “How you’re terribly inept at such and such”.  It’s easy to deluge your brain with constant, negative mental reminders. Psychology tells us that we have a negativity bias. Our brains are wired to see the negative and the scary since our species developed on the African plains confronted by vicious beasts of all kinds. The human brain naturally wired itself from the beginning to be LEERY before CHEERY.

Perhaps we could turn this all around and start to slowly give ourselves little mental notes when we perform the task effectively or we do something correctly.

Even if just a small thing, just say “Okay, I did that one thing!” or “I lifted weights in the basement for 2 minutes.”. Or “I parked very far from the store entrance in order to get more steps in.” Maybe you just need to remind yourself “I don’t have a headache right now, that means I can focus on any task better.”

Take mental notes throughout the day. Your brain does notice this, it builds reserve for more productive future actions. There is a snowball effect that is occurring.

Just as Dave Ramsey has a method about paying off the small debts first to gain a sense of accomplishment to have the mental impetus to pay off the larger debts later, perhaps we need to NOTICE THE LITTLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS FIRST in order to have the mental ability to sustain ourselves as we work towards BIGGER accomplishments.

To Boil it down: Start small and don’t make it technical! Just take mental notes about the positive instances in your life. Your brain will take notice, even if subconsciously, and will push you into further positive actions.

NEGATIVE GROCERY STORE ENCOUNTERS: POWER IN THE EMOTIONAL MOMENT

NEGATIVE GROCERY STORE ENCOUNTERS: POWER IN THE EMOTIONAL MOMENT

A very quick yet (hopefully) pithy blog post today. I don’t expect anyone to read it. I do like to purge here on my blog and scribble out my thoughts to various interactions. In life, people will cause you the most pain. Hands down. There is nothing that will instigate more problems or conjure more negative self-talk than other people. Rarely do you wake up and simply decide to think negatively about yourself. Usually, it’s a frustrating encounter with another human being that sets off a cascade of negative self-talk and rumination.

It’s other people’s expressions, reactions and mannerisms that bring you to this psychological state. You may be minding your own business or thinking your own thoughts, yet someone acts a certain way and throws you off. Maybe they exhibit an attitude that you feel is unfair to your current situation. I know, I know, we hear it all the time “you are responsible for your own feelings”. This said, it’s almost always another person who has done the initiating or acted unreasonably considering the circumstances.

I had the experience of someone’s irritation, contempt and derision in Target yesterday. Perhaps it was because I was in Target and not in Walmart (where all the humble people abide). I can’t put my finger on it but these kinds of encounters never arrive when we’re at Walmart.

My children were blocking an aisle, as usual. My back was turned away from the approaching customer, her husband and (one) child. Once I realized the obstacle we had created for her, I immediately said “I’m so sorry!” and we speedily moved out of their path. All she could do was glare with derision and push past us with contempt. There was not a pinch of grace or kindness coming from her. We had stolen a few seconds of her life and for that she was outraged.

If the tables had been turned, I knew I would never respond like that. I couldn’t coax an attitude like that if I tried. In fact, I typically would pivot to another aisle with my cart or maneuver around. I figure out a way and I don’t force my way when there is a hiccup. I would rather put myself out than put someone else out.

I found myself deeply engrossed in the moment. As if that moment, with that look I momentarily caught from her, was stuck frozen in my mind. I could feel myself plunge into myself. I took in the emotional pain and didn’t shy from the feeling.

The feeling of being rejected and embarrassed came over me fully. I allowed it to. I felt worthless and rejected again. Yet I didn’t push past this emotion the way I usually do. I usually run from feelings of discouragement, embarrassment and dejection. This time I allowed it to sink it so that I could feel the full thrust of it. And you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I envisioned it to be. It was less painful just fully being immersed in my own blunder, my own ineptitude, my own lack of skill whilst navigating the perils of target with my 3 young children.

The key takeaway here is that there is always power in those moments of intense displeasure and embarrassment. Those are the instances where you can fully pull back—fully retract into a sense of mindfulness. And mindfulness is something we all need to get back into more often. In fact, we need frequent reminders to become mindful. We hear about the technique of mindfulness constantly, yet we forget about it. I’m mindless most of my days. We need everyday reminders! I need everyday reminders!

As I start out the new year with New Year’s resolutions, I will be using any negative or embarrassing occasion to conjure up mindfulness. Mindfulness is the antidote for any fleeting pain or trial. Since everything passes by so quickly anyways, there’s no reason to sit in the suffering. All you need to do is look at it, head on and then it disappears. Time goes on and that particular instance is FAR behind you. There is a world out there with plenty more interesting people and abundant opportunities.