FINDING CREATIVITY

FINDING CREATIVITY

Having everything done on my to-do list and my feet resting flat on the floor is becoming the trick to ushering in the expansion of my creativity. I’m whittling stuff off my to-do list. I’m simultaneously realizing I don’t need to keep taking expensive college courses that interfere with my life. I’m focusing more on my children and anything that truly piques my interest.

Nursing school was fine. I did it! I got my RN. Truthfully, nursing isn’t something I think I can be good at as a profession. There’s just too many demands at the same time. You’re never done. People fall and you have to catch their bodies. I’ve worked with nurses who are still undergoing physical therapy themselves due to catching falling patients. Working in a nursing home taught me that. I only did it because my Grandmother chided me for pursuing an Esthetician license saying “Do something real! Do something that’s actually useful!” So, I took on nursing. Now, I have both a nursing (RN) degree and an Esthetician license. Since graduating in December of 2014, I’ve only had a couple nursing jobs and a few volunteering positions.

I’ve SLOWLY and recently released the grips my ego has over me. My ego seems to want more college education–to go further! My EGO wants me to forge a path ahead and grab ambition and accomplishment and knowledge and squeeze their products into a pitcher as one squeezes lemons for the delicious result of lemonade. Like everyone else, I seek the same applause from effortful pursuits. There is another desire I’m finding… to see creativity unfold.

But…I’m realizing if it’s not for the sake of creativity itself, it is just a vain attempt to build a greater self-empire. The ego wants to behold itself and showcase all of what it’s done.

No longer. I want to exemplify creativity and seek creative pursuits in all their forms for the sake of creativity itself. Not for money, or recognition or fleeting applause and approval but simply for learning and recreation. Creativity is fun. It satisfies itself. It needs nothing more.

Creativity is about finding the interconnectedness between two things. It asks, how can we look at something from a BIG picture or a SMALL picture? Creativity is a curious endeavor and requires that we look at things through various angles. FOR INSTANCE, LAST NIGHT I HAD A SUDDEN EUREKA MOMENT. A volcano is like an acne pimple or lesion. There is swelling, inflammation and heat that starts to roil beneath the surface. The volcano lifts the surrounding terrain in a cone shaped form as does the acne pimple on the skin. Both the pimple and volcano explode out onto surfaces. For the pimple it is the skin and for the volcano it is the surrounding terrain. The damage done below the surface of the skin can cause an acne scar in the formation of a crater as the skin starts to settle. In the same way, as the volcano settles, the terrain can form a caldera or crater.

This is how creativity can start emerging. In the example above I started to look at two things as though they may be connected. When you do this you start to recognize intriguing relationships between disparate phenomena! And it just keeps going from here. It can get very exciting and addicting and you’ll start pursuing creativity for its own sake.

How can you find creativity in your life? What I’m realizing is that YOU NEED BLOCKS OF UNINTERRUPTED TIME. No tuned-out periods of phone scrolling, no children screaming in the distance and no interruptions from surrounding clutter. Clutter can be a huge distraction because it signals to the brain that you HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Even if you try, it’s still there, it’s visual phenomena. It’s saying, “shuffle your attention over here from time to time”. Getting rid of stuff and cleaning your workspace will have a dramatic effect on your ability to engage in deeper creativity and approach the psychological experience called “Flow”. I’ve had flow several times and it’s one of the better gifts of human experience.

Thus, you need time plus an environment to start making creativity happen. It’s hard to get started but once you start rolling you start going. It’s really just an openness to possibility. It’s seeing every moment in a novel way. It’s asking, can I reframe this moment to make it better? You can adjust a tilted picture frame by moving it ever so slightly. In the same way, you can adjust your current reality by tilting it a bit and making it appear more novel. Take a moment to realize you can notice different things and then you take a different approach. Try zooming out with your focus and then zooming way back in. It’s all this adjustment and provides new insight and perspectives.

Also, don’t forget the power of sleep! I’m always way more likely to both think creativity and have more motivation to be creative when I get adequate sleep. When I’m well-rested, I have better resilience for my own failures or when people reject me or give me the cold shoulder. I have higher tolerance for so much more! When pursuing creative ambitions, you really need lots of tolerance because it’s a struggle to get going with creative pursuits and a struggle to KEEP GOING. You can have all the ideas in the world but its easy to flounder and stop.

Sometimes you do need moments of blandness and boredom to eventually get to more profound levels of creativity. It’s like your brain needs the contrast. I find that the most scintillating insights arrive when I’m doing very mundane tasks like moving about putting things away. My brain is slightly disengaged but yet there must be subconscious processes that are still occurring. I’ve discovered that very intense bursts of cardiovascular exercise seem to prepare me both mentally and physically for that calm that comes before the creative storm. I also feel good for exercising and exerting a form of self-discipline.

I’m eager to discover more synchronicities and possibilities with anything that I interact with. When you discover more and learn more you can see more connections that can lead to novel inventions, ideas or ways of doing things. I don’t have a formalized, set structure for discovering creativity but I’m deeply curious if perhaps there is a method that I will soon discover! I’m working on this!

ACNE SCAR UPDATE (1 Year After FRAXEL LASER). DON’T DO IT!

ACNE SCAR UPDATE (1 Year After  FRAXEL LASER). DON’T DO IT!

A while back I had posted about my ACNE SCAR FRAXEL LASER EXPERIENCE (yes, this is my most-viewed blog post, you can dig it up as I won’t be linking to it here). I Wanted to finally give an update. Yes, It has been ONE FULL YEAR since my 3 FRAXEL LASER TREATMENTS.

BEFORE FRAXEL LASER SKIN RESURFACING: Yeah I’m just too vain. I don’t even know why I worry about such trivial things, my skin didn’t even look that bad (as you can see from my before picture below).

Never forget, there are people out there who actually have real problems. There are people out there without limbs… people who have full-body burns. Now that’s suffering!

Anytime you see someone complaining about their looks, remember to think of legitimate victims, not someone like me with literally nothing to complain about.

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AFTER FRAXEL LASER RESURFACING: 3 spaced out treatments during 2017-18 $1,200 (for all 3).

I guess I’m glad I took before and after pictures. Would I do Fraxel again? NO. The reason? Despite making my skin smoother and the depressions less noticeable, it seems to have thinned my dermis and even my underlying “baby fat layer”. These are two important layers which give youth and glow to the skin.

People with a thicker dermis and more fat look younger than people with a thinner fat and dermal layers. Fraxel laser will make you look older because it inevitably thins out your skin. I guarantee it. They will tell you up and down that it doesn’t. But this has been my experience.

I really have no other way of describing this. I think that acne scar subcision would have been a much better solution to maintain the previous thickness of my skin.

Guess what? I will be getting ACNE SCAR SUBCISION along with injectable filler THIS COMING MONDAY. Oh how I wish I would have known about this option and had someone willing to give it to me before my FRAXEL LASER SURGERY. Yeah, it’s a more involved process and the technician would have had to work on each individual acne scar (and I have HUNDREDS of acne scars on my face) but the overall thickness of my dermis and fat later would have remained the same.

REMEMBER once these skin layers are diminished, it will be very, very hard to get them back. The medical spa professionals/Estheticians etc will tell you that “they will regenerate” and that “collagen synthesis will occur”. Not much. You’ll notice smoother skin but much thinner too. I don’t like this part.

P.S. I’m no expert but I AM both an RN and an Esthetician, so I’m not entirely clueless.

I had FRAXEL LASER PLASTIC SURGERY

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My BEFORE FRAXEL PICTURE–ABOVE. Acne scars on my skin. It looks the same way on the other side of my face too. And my forehead is terrible. My chin, is scarred the least. Yes, I’ve learned many “camera angles” and “makeup tricks” to help disguise this.

Sure, not anything to complain too much about here–there are children dying in other countries due to starvation,--but I did suffer intensely from rejection, bullying and hate throughout my childhood and teenage years. I know full well what it’s like to be discriminated against because of my skin–especially as a female. Your self esteem goes down. Your job opportunities go down. You have a harder time making friends…the list goes on and on. Acne is nothing. It’s the scars that cause the long-term (and short-term) difficulties.

I had my first Fraxel LASER skin resurfacing treatment this past Friday (Nov 17, 2017). It’s has been 3 days since my treatment and my face still looks pregnant. The swelling is intense! With the exception of the severe and constant cystic acne I experienced during my teen years, my face has never looked so deformed and disfigured in my life. I don’t mind the intense redness, it’s the inflammation—especially around the eyes—that causes the most grimacing from family members, even the baby. They have learned to put up with me these past few days and I have remained strictly inside the confines of the house. The Fraxel LASER is no joke. For me it has been several days of recovery.

After arriving at my LASER appointment Friday, the technician applied a thick layer of numbing paste over my skin. I had to wait for 1 full hour before my treatment began. Once numb, the technician came in and applied a device to my skin, somewhat like a scanner or wand, which was attached to a large LASER machine. She then carefully and thoroughly passed this wand over my face. She started at my forehead and proceeded to my cheeks and chin. I made sure to ask that my “nose be avoided” since I didn’t have any acne scars there and even more, wasn’t fond of the idea of a massively inflamed nose. I would highly recommend doing this if you decide to get FRAXEL. There is no need to experience a swollen nose for several days.

For me, the Fraxel LASER hurt quite a bit—especially at the beginning. I could feel bursts of fiery hot, almost searing pain with each pass of the LASER. As the treatment went on, my face started to adjust and I didn’t really feel the pain anymore. All I could think about was a LASER breaking down the fibrotic scar tissue and puncturing microscopic columns into the depressed scar tissue helping break it from its tethering to the underlying dermis. This brought me great joy! The LASER treatment took about 1 hr and 15 minutes.

The technician was very accommodating and wanted to help me in every way possible. I had purchased a discounted series of Fraxel LASER (face and neck) treatments and 1 Clear and Brilliant treatments for $1,359. She realized that my neck didn’t need the treatment as much as my face and decided to add 2 more Fraxel treatments to the series that would address my face only, replacing the neck treatments. This was extremely generous! SO now I get a total of 4 Fraxel sessions (next one is scheduled for January so watch out world) for $1,359. The actual market price for 4 Fraxel treatment sessions is around $3,200.

I will keep you updated on my progress and what I think about the results. I was told that it will take at least 4 Fraxel sessions to see any noticeable improvement to my acne scars–but I think I will see mild results with just one treatment. I look forward to future sessions and am willing to put up with the 3 days of recovery that follow this procedure.