“Good Little Decision” Journaling

Every act of self-discipline puts you on a journey to success and mental balance. I truly believe that just GRABBING my moments and making even just a few, very decisive moves will catapult me into a truly new dimension–a new reality of health and wellness.

Here is a recent example: Last night I decided not to eat a bowl of ice cream that I had planned to eat. I made my son a bowl of ice cream and was almost ready to make one for myself. At that CRITICAL MOMENT, I had a thought, a reflection, a flash of mindfulness. I thought, “You know, I’m only going to eat this bowl of ice cream for the taste–not because I’m famished, not because I’m even bored, not because it has some health denseness to it…but solely because I want a jolt of dopamine.

I’m not quite sure how I got through that impulse and made it to the other side. Truly, it was one of the few I’ve made. I lead a moderately healthy lifestyle but always give in for the “taste”. This time I made a choice–a deferral of gratification. I realize I need to make more of these little decisions on a moment-to-moment basis. Even here, I stopped for a few minutes to write and journal. It’s injecting the good decisions in your day–throughout your day–that really does the trick.

I think I’m going to make myself a journal where I start to write down good little decisions I make on a daily basis. Any act that fortifies my brain or my overall health should be written down and remembered. I need to write these moments down! As I develop my track record for good decisions, I will increase the level of confidence and positivity I have for myself. This will keep the momentum going for the times that I do break down and make awful health decisions. I have to start seeing myself as someone who can make better decisions. Afterall, I have done a few so I can do more, right? That’s the state of mind that you need to be in.

Sure, I may have had cookies for breakfast but how about exercising now, VIGOROUSLY? How about not checking my phone? How about writing a blog post? How about trying to force myself to stay positive for just a little while longer? How about channeling creativity instead of scrolling?

All of these little decisions add up!

MOMS ARE THE MOST OVERWHELMED, BUSIEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET

Moms are the busiest, most overwhelmed people on the planet. I don’t think I can emphasize this enough. It can’t be said more. Today I want to take a chance to fully embrace and support all the moms out there!

Back in the days before I had children, I heard a story about a mom who melted the bottom of her laptop. She inadvertently placed her laptop on the top of a (previously) hot stove. I couldn’t fathom how someone could do such a thing. How careless!

Years later after having 3 little children, I recall this story often. I now KNOW, with CERTAINTY how likely this could happen if you’re a mom. I have days where my laptop is sitting on a counter with a mountain of clutter, kids are shouting orders at me in slavedriver fashion. I’m dashing around the kitchen trying to get someone milk or water or clean up spilled milk that is now being tracked through the hall. Two of the kids are screaming and one is in full-scale tantrum mode. I’m juggling my children’s feeding and drinking requests while I’m trying to check on kids’ assignments/grades on their education portal, paying bills, reading the recipe for dinner or just trying to keep my mind sharp with a podcast in the background. I’ve got a full bladder, and a crayon stuck to the bottom of my foot.

In such frantic chaos, I can see how easy it would be to accidentally shove a laptop through the mountain of counter clutter onto a cooling stovetop. Moms are juggling too many things. We’re doing about 5 things AT ALL TIMES. WE’RE STILL BEHIND. I see people leisurely sitting around scrolling very inane social media posts or tik tok videos. I’ve never actually been on Tik Tok. Not once. I can’t imagine the amount of productivity and time being wasted daily on these platforms. I see the loss of human potential.

As moms, we’re told we can’t complain because “we chose to have kids”. Meanwhile, our friends who are working a job they dislike complain about it non-stop but we don’t say “You can quit your job and find another one.” We listen with an attentive ear. We empathize and realize how hard it must be to work full time in a semi high-paying career, being mentally challenged and then come home to an empty house without screaming children and non-stop messes where one could then pursue various passions and hobbies. Life must be so terrible and depressing.

We realize how tough it must be to not have big gaps in our career and resumes. Don’t we all want big career/job gaps on our resumes? Isn’t that an advantage these days? Additionally, it must be hard to fully engage one’s brain and be challenged by a cutting-edge career that has the potential to increase one’s monetary success, opportunities and social clout. Nobody wants that! How tough it must be for career women!

All the sarcasm and whining aside, the studies reveal that MORE AND MORE women are pursuing education and careers instead of child-rearing. Women with children are also pursuing careers and education. Life is stressful for everyone.

But………. women with several small children have it much harder. Sorry. I had to say it. I’ve done it both ways and I know that making money or pursuing education are quite fun in comparison to managing repetitive disasters all day whilst listening to an orchestra of screams and shouts. And yes, I know this period only lasts a little while and then it’s over. But I still think the burden is almost unforgiveable. And yes, I complain about it because I know my mom, my grandmothers and my aunts never did. They weren’t allowed to complain.

To end this rant, I want to salute all women with multiple children juggling so many tasks all at once! Whether you’re a single mom working or not, a working mom or a stay-at-home Mom. The survival of the HUMAN SPECIES (before AI and AGI takes over) LITERALLY DEPENDS ON YOU MOMS!

The world population is sharply declining! People are less likely to have children or have a desire for children. With advances in AI technology, even fewer children will be born. Perhaps, we humans will morph into part-robots with fewer social needs because AI and AGI will fulfill those needs. We won’t need to “Make more humans” because technology will give rise to conscious beings that will serve as the next tier of evolution as we know it. Theoretical speculation, but fun to consider!

So just remember, being a mom is very important for the human species. It’s not very fun a lot of the time but it is the feature that has brought humanity to where it is right now. Civilization needed a long line of mothers to get to where we are. We needed a surplus of humans with skills and interests that would usher in scientific innovation and the chance to fulfill our potential as humans. Thank goodness for all the moms in history who gave birth to all the incredible brains out there! We are discovering solutions to some of the world’s most complex problems!

HAVE JUST ONE HIGH PERFORMING BLOG POST!!!

Did you know that just ONE HIGH PERFORMING BLOG POST ON YOUR BLOG can significantly impact your blog’s success in terms of Google search? Even if you have 50, 150 or even 500 LAME BLOG POSTS and only ONE of them is doing well, your blog will be ranked higher than other blogs. This means people are more likely to discover your blog in the long run.

Let’s reiterate: Never underestimate the power of just ONE high performing blog post. This happened to me a few years ago. I continually reap the benefits of that one single post. Everyday I’m getting views and blog traffic from simply having one high performance entry. People stumble on my blog via that one post…often, they check out other posts. That one post has served as a hook– and it’s become very effective for my blog, overall. After some research, I learned that this is a strategy that most of the prominent bloggers have used to attract a steady stream of viewers. These individuals have taken steps to further their “brand” with books, YouTube videos, podcasts or various items related to their theme that they can ultimately MONETIZE.

When you have a blog, you want at least one GOTCHA POST where people spend some time. It doesn’t matter if you have a ton of content that doesn’t resonate with very many people or if they’re thinking MEH. BORING. We all have that experience WITH EVERY BLOG OUT THERE.

All you need is one high performing post. Additionally, you will need several other blog posts on your blog to establish your presence as a blogger—at least in terms of Google’s analytics and algorithm; this will help you stand out compared to other blogs. Those posts don’t have to yield a ton of engagement time or views. Just make your blog appear active, current and make certain it has some content.

Try to post at least twice a month. Make sure you’re writing posts in your own words! People can easily copy and paste your writing into an AI to determine if you’re legit or if you’re simply regurgitating copy and paste blocks of text from another AI generator. This tool is called AI Detector, and more and more people and companies are using these detectors to screen out computer generated writing from REAL human generated writing.

Something else I recently learned? Did you know that if you’re simply copying and pasting swaths of text from an AI generator, you’ll be NATURALLY PUSHED DOWN IN GOOGLE’s SEARCH ALGORITHM? YEP! The entire purpose of blogging is for humans to struggle with their thoughts, emotions and inner experiences–and TO WRITE THEM DOWN. Blogging is by definition the BLOGGERS THINKING. It’s your own thinking…what you’re currently learning and how you’re dealing with it. Writing is a wrestling act with your own thoughts and emotions and coming up with solutions in the form of WORDS. AI generators will not have the same human touch, that similar finesse with human experiences and situations in the human would. AI written content is quickly identified by complex computer algorithms and it’s pushed down in search. But if you’re a blogger you naturally adore the writing process, so this won’t be an issue for you! You’ll use AI to help you fully understand phenomena or learn the definitions of words and ways to improve your grammar. You won’t dump a bolus of text on a page constructed from another entity.

As you start to blog and write regularly, you’ll notice that you’re improving both your writing and thinking skills. You’re also developing a habit of writing! You’ll feel that surge of dopamine as you can both use your words to influence others and to simultaneously provide information about various topics. These topics INTEREST YOU. So, you’ll be motivated to learn and then watch and see if anyone else happens to enjoy your interests as well. You get to learn and write, learn and write! It feels like you’re building a memorable tower of knowledge that even you will go back to from time to time.

Anyone, even a SINGLE PERSON SPENDING TIME ON YOUR BLOG FACTORS INTO THE METRIC OF ENGAGEMENT. If they happen to find your blog and then leave quickly, this prices into the calculation called BOUNCE RATE. A blogs bounce rate is how fast someone finds your blog and then leaves after visiting one page. When your blog has a HIGH BOUNCE RATE it means visitors are not finding what they’re interested in. They’re less engaged so they leave after one shot. Google’s algorithm will lower your blog’s presence in search. Fewer people will find your blog. You have fewer chances of getting big. You have fewer chances of reaping any money.

In my opinion, The BREAD AND BUTTER of BLOGS are VIEWS. Not subscribers, not followers. These come and go. It’s easy to get into an emotional tither when people leave or unsubscribe. You express a political or religious view and people leave. You say something dumb. You get boring. You feel awful when you lose followers and your motivation dips. You stop writing and creating.

But views? Daily views are a signal that your blog is still providing relevant content to those asking questions on various search engines/platforms. Keep track of your daily views and let that inspire you! That’s been my main go-to in term of motivation for blogging. At least I’m getting views, even if not from loyal followers or subscribers. At least the algorithm is favoring my blog and engagement is UP!

You can let people go their way if they decide, but getting random views REGULARLY simply by speaking your mind will give you the impetus to keep going…to keep writing. Why would you want to be a slave to AUDIENCE CAPTURE? This is the phenomenon when a content creator starts to feel anxiety because they have to fulfill the expectations and interests of their audience. They become trapped. As a blogger you know you need A TON OF CONTENT TO GET NOTICED. How can you continually generate content that ALWAYS reflects the interests of your followers?

You can’t have it both ways. Either you generate a ton of content on various topics where you’re shrill and vocal–some that makes you lose active followers OR, you focus solely on what you think your readers WANT TO HEAR. Don’t do that! Be yourself. If you’ve created one momentous blog post, you’ll still be discoverable. There are so many fish in the sea and there’s way more to gain than lose if you keep presenting YOUR OWN VIEWS.

Cheers to blogging and creating that ONE POST that gets you noticed! You’ll get YEARS of success from that one single blog post.

NO FEMALE FRIENDS in my 40’s

Here I am, a heterosexual female in the midst of my 40’s. I don’t have a single deep connection with another female. I know, I should have a handful of female friends by now…friendships that I can truly count on for venting or sharing my truest thoughts without retaliation or friendship loss. Friendships where I feel both heard and accepted even with someone who wholly disagrees with me. Friends who I can see regularly and debate over a coffee or an alcoholic beverage. I’ve never done this before, but it sounds fun.

Back when the website “Meet-Up” first emerged, I started a philosophy group. I wanted it to be in a “Socrates Cafe” style. We would meet at coffee shops, Panera Bread and other venues and discuss philosophical ideas. But guess what? I DIDN”T HAVE A SINGLE FEMALE ATTEND. NOT ONCE.

I’ve tried two strategies for gaining female friends:

Be completely open, frank and honest about my views of various subject matter, not all at once but in a punctuated, timely fashion as the friendship gains ground. And, when I say “share my views” I’m not in any way suggesting my judgment or thoughts about them or how they live. I specifically mean, my thoughts about philosophy, religion, AI, AGI, economics, the paranormal, politics or general ideas about life.

2. Be superficial, pleasant and continue on with the banal niceties and platitudes that are typically exchanged in almost any conversation. Don’t bring up tough ambiguous subjects. Don’t bring up anything that could be remotely thought of as “controversial”. Don’t ever offer an opposing viewpoint. Just go with the flow. Talk less. Respond in an automated, predictable format.

I’ve found that with females, neither strategy has brought me any real, lasting relationships. For the first strategy, the more opinionated females will quickly become my friend…but once they know more about my thinking, they often decide to stop connecting me. They may briefly acknowledge my existence, but the second they find out some aspect of my philosophy, politics or life-experience that they disagree with, they IMMEDIATELY START COOLING OFF TOWARDS ME. They may outright reject me, or they’ll slowly pivot away until my connection with them has dissolved.

With the second strategy, I don’t find myself plunging into anything intriguing or mind-grappling. I find it both a waste of words and time. I’d rather be listening to Sam Harris and learning about mindfulness or Diary of A CEO and learning about health topics. I’d rather take a peek at simulation theory by Donald Hoffman. Instead, exchanges with my female acquaintances are almost always a trip down “Let’s say almost exactly the same thing we said yesterday”.

What I’m finally coming to realize is that the best strategy when it comes to FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS is to have none. Sure, I have acquaintances and connections, but anymore I don’t dare state what I’m actually thinking or more nuanced thoughts about any given topic. Furthermore, I’m learning that I don’t really need these kinds of experiences. They make me swell up with unnecessary anxiety after they are over. And that’s exactly it–these connections create so much unnecessary anxiety after they are over.

Often times I blame it on myself; okay I’m just weird or awkward or unsophisticated. I allow these people to dictate how I think about myself and ultimately how I feel. I’m becoming more assertive with myself and learning that no, It’s not me. I’m nice and kind. I listen to other people’s views, and I ASK THEM QUESTIONS. I don’t simply dominate with my own topics. I ask plenty of questions and show interest in others. But asking lots of questions and showing interest in the other person DOESN’T SEEM TO WORK EITHER. It just doesn’t. If people have decided at the outset that they don’t like you, they won’t be swayed by your interest in them.

What a bland day to day life. But let’s be honest, human beings that really do speak their minds are punished or quietly ignored. It’s better to live having your own mind and not worry about amassing a bunch of superficial friendships where you’re not learning anything…or deeper friendships that instigate feelings of anxiety or a constant fear about losing them.

If you do happen to have large chunks of your thinking/ideas that resonate with a large portion of the population, you’ll have no trouble making friends. You’ll find it much easier to gain friendships because people usually base their friendships on common-themes and commonalities and like-mindedness.

I’m realizing that as much as I want connections and to be part of the group/community because I might need the community to help me someday, it’s a bad way to think about it. I fear that I may become dependent on others and so I better stop speaking so freely or become ostracized. Again, this is not a good or productive way to think. Always thinking about the larger community and… how will they treat me if I ever do need their help?

It’s not worth my time to keep reaching out and trying to befriend females who are either extremely repetitive or are so attached to their religious, political or philosophical views that nobody else can offer a differing opinion without them UNFRIENDING ME.

I feel free and I’m truly done with the game of trying to make deep and lasting female friends. My husband will do just fine. And he’s the best conversationalist I have discovered so far.

STOP WASTING TIME SCROLLING

You aren’t spending very much time on blogs or reading anymore, are you? You are perhaps in some of the most dreadful moments of your life. You’re not finding your own life. You’re like an automated machine sucked into LONG PERIODS OF SCROLLING. There are so many platforms that encourage just another quick glance and so on and so forth. This is not a happy place for the mind.

The mind wants to peace and rest. It wants reflection. It doesn’t want incessant interruption from short bites of information. It wants your own thoughts to bubble up from the subconscious caverns of the brain and form deep and complex relationships and understandings. With other people CONSTANTLY IN YOUR FACE and importing their own thoughts into the shrine of your own mind–think reels, short videos, memes, or any extremely sliced and diced ultra refined content (as I like to think of it) — there’s very little reserved time and space for self-reflection.

Even worse, it’s tough to discover your own passion for creativity and your zest for life because so much of your time is invested in other people’s interests and pursuits--namely, their hobbies or career of making short reels that have to do WITH THEM and THEIR LIVES and THEIR HOBBIES or even, THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR. What about YOU? You’re just the mindless spectator helping them achieve their goals.

Much of our diet is ultra processed refined food. At some point factories and companies realized that we tend to prefer anything easy, quickly tasty and satisfying. In the same way, our digital diet for our minds is becoming plagued by ultra processed, short-form media like reels and memes or even facebook or Instagram stories. These short form pieces of content almost always make us think “Wow, I wasted my time on that?”. Very rarely are we thinking, “Wow, that was super insightful, and I’ll be using that technique today!”

Make no mistake, the reason why people make these pieces of content are for increased viewership and gaining more followers. The more massive one’s audience, the more money they can make with online content. The bigger they get, the more marketer’s will see them and make them affiliates with their company. Ultimately, they can push out products for big companies and generate revenue from this strategy. THEY ABSOLUTELY NEED YOUR CONTINUED VIEWERSHIP AND ATTENTION. Without you, without the masses doing this, these creators would have very little incentive to keep making such inane (often thoughtless) barely funny content.

Yes, sometimes we accumulate novel ideas from reels and stories. We gain fleeting moments away from boredom. But…. we lose way too much time compared to the insights that we gain.

I know this is old, but my suggestion is, why not adopt a DIGITAL FAST of sorts? Spend some time being alone with your own thoughts–without the internet or a screen. Try to force yourself to read even part of a book. Write 2 paragraphs about something you’re thinking about. Meditate alone and quietly. Make some tea and commit to being mindful throughout the entire process. Don’t ride on someone else’s thinking. Ride on your own thinking. And again, if you must ride on someone else’s thinking, make it come from a LONG FORM SOURCE or a written source. Books are great for this.

If you have to spend time on social media platforms spend it on YOUTUBE: LISTENING TO INTERVIEW PODCASTS that are LONG and that probe into the nature of thought and reality or that dedicate time for self-help and health, think Alex O’Connor, Tom Bilyeu, Lex Fridman, Ed Mylett, Rich Roll, Sam Harris, Stephen Bartlett–Diary of a CEO, Dan Koe, Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal, Lewis Howes, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, Andrew Huberman, Andre Duqum, Chris Williamson–just to name a few. I love listening to discussions between two different minds and I love how the above podcasters are willing to pose hard, thought-provoking questions that get my brain engaged. It’s amazing how much better I feel when/after listening to these individuals. I have more stamina for harder, more ambiguous, difficult content and I can listen while I’m doing housework or driving.

These are just some ideas. I will not demonize modern society and technology. As with everything, there are tradeoffs. There are goods and bads that come with all of this ultra processed media. I tend to see more bads than goods because as we know, time is the most valuable resource.

FINDING CREATIVITY

Having everything done on my to-do list and my feet resting flat on the floor is becoming the trick to ushering in the expansion of my creativity. I’m whittling stuff off my to-do list. I’m simultaneously realizing I don’t need to keep taking expensive college courses that interfere with my life. I’m focusing more on my children and anything that truly piques my interest.

Nursing school was fine. I did it! I got my RN. Truthfully, nursing isn’t something I think I can be good at as a profession. There’s just too many demands at the same time. You’re never done. People fall and you have to catch their bodies. I’ve worked with nurses who are still undergoing physical therapy themselves due to catching falling patients. Working in a nursing home taught me that. I only did it because my Grandmother chided me for pursuing an Esthetician license saying “Do something real! Do something that’s actually useful!” So, I took on nursing. Now, I have both a nursing (RN) degree and an Esthetician license. Since graduating in December of 2014, I’ve only had a couple nursing jobs and a few volunteering positions.

I’ve SLOWLY and recently released the grips my ego has over me. My ego seems to want more college education–to go further! My EGO wants me to forge a path ahead and grab ambition and accomplishment and knowledge and squeeze their products into a pitcher as one squeezes lemons for the delicious result of lemonade. Like everyone else, I seek the same applause from effortful pursuits. There is another desire I’m finding… to see creativity unfold.

But…I’m realizing if it’s not for the sake of creativity itself, it is just a vain attempt to build a greater self-empire. The ego wants to behold itself and showcase all of what it’s done.

No longer. I want to exemplify creativity and seek creative pursuits in all their forms for the sake of creativity itself. Not for money, or recognition or fleeting applause and approval but simply for learning and recreation. Creativity is fun. It satisfies itself. It needs nothing more.

Creativity is about finding the interconnectedness between two things. It asks, how can we look at something from a BIG picture or a SMALL picture? Creativity is a curious endeavor and requires that we look at things through various angles. FOR INSTANCE, LAST NIGHT I HAD A SUDDEN EUREKA MOMENT. A volcano is like an acne pimple or lesion. There is swelling, inflammation and heat that starts to roil beneath the surface. The volcano lifts the surrounding terrain in a cone shaped form as does the acne pimple on the skin. Both the pimple and volcano explode out onto surfaces. For the pimple it is the skin and for the volcano it is the surrounding terrain. The damage done below the surface of the skin can cause an acne scar in the formation of a crater as the skin starts to settle. In the same way, as the volcano settles, the terrain can form a caldera or crater.

This is how creativity can start emerging. In the example above I started to look at two things as though they may be connected. When you do this you start to recognize intriguing relationships between disparate phenomena! And it just keeps going from here. It can get very exciting and addicting and you’ll start pursuing creativity for its own sake.

How can you find creativity in your life? What I’m realizing is that YOU NEED BLOCKS OF UNINTERRUPTED TIME. No tuned-out periods of phone scrolling, no children screaming in the distance and no interruptions from surrounding clutter. Clutter can be a huge distraction because it signals to the brain that you HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Even if you try, it’s still there, it’s visual phenomena. It’s saying, “shuffle your attention over here from time to time”. Getting rid of stuff and cleaning your workspace will have a dramatic effect on your ability to engage in deeper creativity and approach the psychological experience called “Flow”. I’ve had flow several times and it’s one of the better gifts of human experience.

Thus, you need time plus an environment to start making creativity happen. It’s hard to get started but once you start rolling you start going. It’s really just an openness to possibility. It’s seeing every moment in a novel way. It’s asking, can I reframe this moment to make it better? You can adjust a tilted picture frame by moving it ever so slightly. In the same way, you can adjust your current reality by tilting it a bit and making it appear more novel. Take a moment to realize you can notice different things and then you take a different approach. Try zooming out with your focus and then zooming way back in. It’s all this adjustment and provides new insight and perspectives.

Also, don’t forget the power of sleep! I’m always way more likely to both think creativity and have more motivation to be creative when I get adequate sleep. When I’m well-rested, I have better resilience for my own failures or when people reject me or give me the cold shoulder. I have higher tolerance for so much more! When pursuing creative ambitions, you really need lots of tolerance because it’s a struggle to get going with creative pursuits and a struggle to KEEP GOING. You can have all the ideas in the world but its easy to flounder and stop.

Sometimes you do need moments of blandness and boredom to eventually get to more profound levels of creativity. It’s like your brain needs the contrast. I find that the most scintillating insights arrive when I’m doing very mundane tasks like moving about putting things away. My brain is slightly disengaged but yet there must be subconscious processes that are still occurring. I’ve discovered that very intense bursts of cardiovascular exercise seem to prepare me both mentally and physically for that calm that comes before the creative storm. I also feel good for exercising and exerting a form of self-discipline.

I’m eager to discover more synchronicities and possibilities with anything that I interact with. When you discover more and learn more you can see more connections that can lead to novel inventions, ideas or ways of doing things. I don’t have a formalized, set structure for discovering creativity but I’m deeply curious if perhaps there is a method that I will soon discover! I’m working on this!

I took my 6 Year Old Son’s ADHD Medication

Recently I tried a little of my son’s ADHD medication (methylphenidate/Ritalin). I’ve been curious for a while about its effects–so I decided to live a bit on the edge. I’m a risk taker when it comes to almost anything with the exception of my ego. I love to try new things. I love to gain new experiences. I’ve plunged myself into way too many hobbies of late. It’s no wonder that I may have some attentional or jumpy-around tendencies myself. I have a hard time finishing any task that requires many steps, or I find myself procrastinating or just not forging the mental stamina to continue. I embark upon many tasks at the beginning of the day, I whip up all the motivation I can, but the follow-through just kicks me down. Additionally, my mood is often not at its peak. I can sometimes feel what depression or despondency must feel like. I was eager to see if taking some of my son’s medication would have any impact on my mood, motivation, or even my mental stamina.

What I discovered was nothing short of brilliant. I felt AMAZING. Once I could feel the activation of the medicine, I suddenly enjoyed what I was doing. Sitting down and helping my 4-year-old learn to read is typically a very boring hard to endure slog. On this day, it was like a sudden epiphany for my mind. My exact thoughts were “Oh, I kind of enjoy this task! I feel like I’m in the moment and I’m accomplishing something that is useful for my son!” Needless to say, we made it through 5 books. I just was able to stay on task and didn’t tire from it.

That’s really what I noticed–the ability to NOT TIRE OUT. To NOT MOVE ON. The focus makes it so that you can complete more boring, mundane, step by step tasks or even attempt more arduous or challenging tasks. The brain really needs a particular cocktail of neurotransmitters to deal with the day-to-day drudgeries. I didn’t realize what I was lacking–or how much more focused I could actually be. Do some people have the privilege of functioning like this regularly? If so, I’m so jealous! What a treat to stay focused and have that accompanying sense of satisfaction.

According to my son’s pediatrician, everyone’s brain can actually benefit from methylphenidate (though it’s typically reserved for those with a true ADHD diagnosis). Recent studies reveal that this medicine can probably help anyone, even adults, and it does not cause addiction because it is short-acting. It helps while it’s in the body and then starts to fade within a few hours. It helps my son tremendously especially while he’s learning something. He can hold his gaze on any learning material longer than without it. And if he holds his attention on some bit of knowledge or information for longer, he stands a FAR BETTER CHANCE OF LEARNING AND RETENTION.

That day I was able to trim 3 different bushes (topiary style!) and stay on task with every other item on my to-do list. I felt a sustained energy and contentment for whatever it was I was doing. I was reminded of the brevity of life and how one of the values I have crystalized for myself is my POTENTIAL. Am I doing everything in my power to achieve my potential? Am I making efforts each day? Could regularly or occasionally taking this medication help improve my mental function and output? I’m left to deliberate about my options and if I will talk to my doctor about getting a methylphenidate prescription myself for occasional use.

If you are the type that just tires out from the long-list of day-to day life or “mentally checks out” you also might benefit from an ADHD evaluation or (potentially) a prescription from your doctor. I think that brain function is absolutely critical for overall health and good, everyday life experiences. It’s hard to enjoy life when you can’t stay on task or accomplish anything big or bigger. We all are dreamers and can see things that we would like or that need to get done. Our brain can easily conjure up grandiose images of what we would like to accomplish or all the possible creations we would like to make. The wherewithal, stamina and sense of satisfaction on each step of the way is where the difficulty lies. This is what I discovered by recently embracing my curiosity and trying my son’s medicine.

ATTENTION AND SHORT FORM SOCIAL MEDIA THOUGHTS

I get so much joy and mental balance from avoiding social media. 20 years ago I loved how I would explore with my mind, how much longer I could endure being absorbed and immersed in a single activity. My mental faculties could withstand long hours reading or listening to the ideas of, say, Patricia Churchland vs. David Chalmers and their philosophical underpinnings. Now, reality seems to be diminished to short, very simplistic videos that we all happen to scroll by, very, very quickly as if to inhale as many of these in the shortest few seconds as possible.

Look around at any bus stop, coffee shop, check-out line or even a family sitting together at a restaurant. Are they reading blogs? Are they scouring long sections of text or lengthy news articles? NO. They are most-often in a mindless bout of scrolling. But it doesn’t stop there. Does it? It just keeps going and going. It doesn’t ever stop. Sometimes when they’re driving, they’ll take a moment or two to look at the road or their surroundings, but back to their phone they go. And humans keep clicking into their social media account throughout the day to imbibe more and more of these little useless trinkets of someone’s life. And there’s part of you that’s thinking either: Dang I’m wasting my life looking at your dull snippets of media, or, I wish I could be the one making engaging content and generating $$$ on it too!

Decades ago, so many of us would spend hours on Wikipedia or listening to long, dense lectures. While I still do this when I have the time, the incentive structure of modern society has changed. The hyper focused way of using the internet has passed…or maybe we’ve entered a new era.

Now, with the constant access of our phones and the onslaught of short-form social media content platforms, we are MENTALLY SCATTERED. We are all spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on short-form internet content. This is the issue I want to address and keep on addressing here on my blog and even just to myself because I think that it’s going to be the Black Swan of our time. We may not realize it now but at some point, we will look back and see the stark changes to humanity and to the evolution of humanity itself.

If I were to sum up what’s happening it would be like this: We are all constantly “CHECKING”. It’s become an automatic behavior like breathing. There are so many possible options to scroll by and it’s like our brain doesn’t want to “get behind” or be “out of the loop”. So, we keep doing it. Or perhaps our brain just gets bored more easily. Every-day non-screen activities have become such drudgery to the mind. It’s not that we are afraid of being alone but that we need to be stimulated from the boredom. Our brain, like our body, wants escape and relaxation–not challenge, struggle or exercise. It’s wants any easy click and an easy find. We discover ourselves scrolling through short-form media content like videos or memes or very inane short posts.

As for me, I want to get back to attention–to being ABLE TO ATTEND. I want to pay attention for a long period of time. I want to be able to zoom into focus immediately on a long article and allow the complexity to pique my brain while I envision fresh perspectives that instigate action. I want to LISTEN TO (not watch) lengthy videos with novel discussion or interviews regarding the universe, AI, human intelligence, physics, philosophy, health and longevity, anti-aging, creativity, productivity, time management and anything to do with self-help. I am fascinated by all of these topics and want to keep exploring them and writing about them. I establish deeper learning and memory retrieval after writing what I read, research or delve into. In a way, humans are a lot like AI. The more we explore new data sets the more we develop a basic intuitive grasp of things. Then, we keep iterating until we kind of figure it out.

I still want to be online. But…. I want to utilize the internet and recent cutting edge AI technologies so that my own creativity can emerge. Creativity is just a novel assortment of various pieces or ideas that already exist. There is really so much potential out there! New technologies will have most prominence in the hands of those who use them to blend with their own creative outputs.

WRITING TO DO LISTS IS MAGIC

What I have learned is that writing a to-do list WORKS! This has become my secret way of translating things…projects, ideas, etc. into forward action.

When I WAKE UP EARLY and write my to-do list on a sheet of paper and then place it right on the top of my counter, I am face to face with it. I am far more likely to attempt any one of these to-to tasks than if I didn’t write the to-do-list.

The psychological sciences have discovered why writing a to-do list is so helpful. One of the reasons is that writing is the act of GETTING THE MIND ON BOARD. That is, when you write something, your brain is inevitably reflecting on that piece of data. Your inner thoughts are transcribed into material reality. Thinking is the first step. When you write you’re thinking about what you write. When a thought is written down, it is directing the brain towards that thing. It’s the beginning of motivation and motivation creates action.

With a to-do-list, there is great reward in crossing off the completed tasks with a BIG BLACK MARKER. I can hear the squeaky sound of the black marker. I notice the thick, inky feeling as it glides over a task on my to-do list and BLOTS it out in full and final punishment.

The reward is also the knowledge that I’m making progress; that I’m being productive.

The number of list items that I’ve attempted (and completed) from simply writing them down is ASTOUNDING. It’s as if the brain realizes, “Hey if I write this stuff down, I better at least do some of it.“

Now that I know this method of WRITING A NEW LIST DOWN EVERY SINGLE MORNING on a sheet of paper and placing that paper right on the top of the counter so that I can read it, I’m wondering if I could make other thoughts happen. You know, manifest into reality? I believe that this and more is possible. What you think is power. Continually engaging your mind in your daily activities by thinking about those activities and writing them down will push you toward them. Think about it, it certainly won’t push you away from them.

Often, I refrain from writing challenging (to me at least) things on my to-do list because I’m afraid to try them or they seem to take TOO MANY STEPS TO COMPLETE. Sometimes the steps involve personal embarrassment or being uncomfortable or even an ego bruising! I tell myself “I won’t write this down because I won’t try it anyway.” Well lately I’ve come to realize that writing the difficult things down DOES INDEED spur me to take a few steps towards the goal or item on my list. Even just a couple steps is better than no steps.

So yes, writing ANYTHING DOWN is MAGIC to your goals. It’s really the first step because you have decided to actively reflect and think about it and turn it from inside your mind onto a piece of paper. That’s it!

I want to go even further here in my goals and pursuits. I want to do actions that spur the creation of new ideas and inventions. Not for the sake of ego and selfish goals but for the sake of learning and finding ways to help humanity. Will I start with writing? Yes, that’s where I will start. Taking the time to write about anything and everything related to my goals, wishes or ideas will be the first step.

JUST START TAKING ACTION!

Lately, I’ve been learning about taking action. The best time to take action is always as soon as you can!

The recently rising entrepreneurial star on YouTube, Alex Hormozi who started from scratch and has made HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS by his early 30’s, is famous for saying, “The key to success is to reduce the time between when you have a thought and when you take action.”

Taking action and running from procrastination is the FIRST KEY TO SUCCESS. Do something and DO ANYTHING. If you just start, you’ll find a way. You’ll receive some feedback, and you’ll discover a different twist along your path. This is much better than “waiting for the right moment to take action.”. Remember you ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME. And then, it’s over. It’s better to start making the mistakes and failures now than waiting to make mistakes later.

While ice skating with my 6-year-old son yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice two distinct groups on the rink: cautious beginners sticking to basic forward skating and daring experts executing impressive leaps and spins. It’s as if everyone’s avoiding the middle ground between playing it safe and risking a face-plant!

It made me realize that sometimes we refuse to act because we don’t want to go through the embarrassment of the next risky step. We would rather “show off once we get there” but we hesitate to approach that middle ground of floundering—that middle ground of hard work and trial and error that exists between novice and Pro.

Taking action is easier for some things. Ever notice how easy it is to click on an Instagram, Facebook or other social media Icon on your phone and just start scrolling? It’s extremely easy and mindless to do this task. And if the statistics are valid, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH ARE ENGAGING IN THIS PASSIVE BEHAVIOR EACH DAY—throughout the day!

What if we started to think of other endeavors or tasks as just as easy and mindless?

What if we just opened a Word document on our computers and just started writing? What if we started brainstorming possible things that we wanted to learn?

What if we jumped on our exercise machines without “getting our workout gear on”? Even for just 5 minutes!

It’s intriguing to consider how effortlessly we engage in passive behaviors like scrolling through social media, yet we hesitate to apply the same level of ease and mindlessness to other endeavors. What if we approached writing, learning, or exercising with the same nonchalant attitude? By reframing our mindset and acknowledging that starting is often the hardest part, we can overcome the inertia of procrastination and propel ourselves towards our goals.

Let’s challenge ourselves to adopt the mentality of “just start.” Whether it’s opening a blank document, brainstorming ideas, or hopping on the exercise machine without overthinking it, taking that initial step is the catalyst for progress. Remember, time is finite, and it’s better to embrace mistakes and failures along the way than to wait for the elusive “perfect moment” that may never come. In the end, the journey of taking action is where growth and success truly unfold!

Top of Form

A Slice of My Trash, Travels and Tots

A Slice of My Travels and Baby Blog

Author: reneeandj